Manuscript Releases, vol. 8 [Nos. 526-663]


MR No. 548—How Ellen White Bore Suffering

I attended the early morning meeting and bore a testimony. I greeted all with a “Happy new year” and sought to call their minds to the infinite love of God expressed to us.... 8MR 44.1

I spoke Sabbath forenoon some very plain truths upon practical godliness. The people seemed to appreciate the work done.—Manuscript 28, 1892, 1. (Diary, January 1, 2, 1892.) 8MR 44.2

April 22, 1892—I do not understand why I am lying here, unable to labor for the Lord; but God understands, and that is enough for me.... 8MR 44.3

May 14—The past night has been one of great tediousness. I was obliged to get up six times to change my position, for my back and limbs were full of pain. My neck was so painful that it distressed me to lie on the pillow. But the Lord is good, and He draws near to me as I lift up my heart in prayer to Him, beseeching Him for grace and for restoration to health.... 8MR 44.4

May 22—The past night was an almost sleepless one. I am so thankful that I could commune with God, and leave myself without murmuring in His merciful hands. I can use my arms and hands better than I could, and with considerable effort I can dress myself. 8MR 44.5

Satan is watching to see if I will hide my faith under a cloud of unbelief by murmuring against the One who has done everything for me. I am determined not to distrust God. I shall keep looking up to where the rainbow of promise encircles the throne. I shall triumph in God. Daily my soul is refreshed by the contemplation of the great love of our heavenly Father. 8MR 44.6

June 15—The night has been long and trying. I lay awake from half past ten till half past two, so full of nervous pain that I could not rest. But I will not repine. “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (Job 13:15.) I shall be glad when the days lengthen and the nights shorten.... 8MR 45.1

June 16—Another long, trying night has nearly passed. Daylight will soon come. I slept well during the first part of the night, but when I awoke, the nervous pain came on once more, so severely that I could scarcely compose myself to pray intelligently. After a time the nervousness passed away, and I prayed most earnestly to my heavenly Father. I presented before Him the promise, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (Matthew 7:7.) Even in my pain I can rejoice in the Lord, and this gives me peace. Christ is my personal Saviour. He has pledged His word to accomplish the salvation of all who believe in Him, and He will verify His promise. 8MR 45.2

“God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16.) These words show us why God's wrath descended on His only begotten Son, why the innocent suffered for the guilty, why the just bore the punishment wholly due to the unjust. Jesus came to bear the penalty of man's transgression, to uphold and vindicate the immutability of the law of God, and the rectitude of His government. He came to make an end of sin, and to bring in everlasting righteousness. He can lift sinners from their low estate, and in so doing magnify the law of Jehovah. These thoughts make me almost forget my pain. 8MR 45.3

June 17—... During these sleepless hours, the subject of overcoming has been the burden of my thoughts. “To him that overcometh,” the Lord declares, “will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with My Father in His throne” (Revelation 3:21).... 8MR 46.1

You may ask the Lord for certain things that you think you must have, but He may see that to grant your desire would harm your soul. He gives you that which is for your good and His glory. If you become rebellious, because you do not receive what you think you should, you show that your way is not in harmony with the will of God, that your way is not His way. Selfishness says, “My way, O God; much of self, and little of Thee.”... 8MR 46.2

June 18—... Christ is the greatest missionary our world has ever seen, and I have faith that He will heal me.... 8MR 46.3

June 20—I slept the first part of the night, but during the latter part I could not rest. I committed my case to the Lord, and was comforted by the thought that I am a subject of His care. I do find peace and comfort in prayer, but I should look upon it as a great blessing from the Lord if I could pass the hours of the night in sleep. These words comfort and strengthen me: [2 Corinthians 4:16; Ephesians 4:23; Philippians 2:5, quoted].... 8MR 46.4

Day by day I am given an assurance of the love of God. [John 5:24; 20:31; John 12:46; Revelation 22:17, quoted].... 8MR 46.5

June 21—Another night of restlessness and suffering has passed. I welcome the coming of five o'clock in the morning; for then Emily Campbell builds my fire, and I can be dressed. I will not allow my mind to dwell on the dark side. Jesus has light and comfort and hope and joy for me. I want to face the light, that the brightness of the Sun of Righteousness may shine into my heart, and be reflected to others. It is the duty of every Christian to shine,—to shed abroad the light of the grace that Christ imparts. God would have me, even in my pain, praise him, showing that I realize that His presence is with me. [Romans 5:1; 1 John 5:11, quoted].... 8MR 46.6

June 22—... This is our confidence. I will rejoice in His love.... 8MR 47.1

June 23—... I long to follow on to know the Lord, that I may know that His going forth is prepared as the morning. I desire the words of my lips to be right words, the meditations of my heart to be of God. I desire to be strengthened with genuine faith. I do not want one vestige of presumption or self-confidence to appear in my life. I want faith, simple, trustful faith. I am determined to rely wholly on the promise of God, asking Him to keep my lips from evil, and my tongue from speaking guile.... 8MR 47.2

June 24—... I know of whom I have believed. I have been purchased by the blood of the only begotten Son of God. He has graven me upon the palms of His hands. I am not my own. I have committed the keeping of my soul unto Him as unto a faithful Creator. He will keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.... 8MR 47.3

June 25—... I put my trust in the Lord Jesus. I cry after God. “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after Thee, O God.” (Psalm 42:1.) Here in the home, in my pain and suffering, I must be imbued with the Spirit of Christ. It is now that I must put my trust in the Lord. At times I can do little else than cling to Jesus, saying, “I am thy child. I trust in Thee. I have Thy pledged word, ‘My grace is sufficient.’” (2 Corinthians 12:9.) Then relief comes, and I praise the Lord for His goodness and mercy.... 8MR 47.4

June 28—... I am compassed with infirmities, yet I am of good courage in the Lord. Although the enemy is permitted to afflict me, yet I have great blessings from day to day. My head is free from pain, shielded by the hand of the Lord. My shoulders and arms are full of pain, but my right forearm from the elbow to the tips of my fingers, is free from pain. I am able to do much important writing.... 8MR 48.1

Trials and disappointments will come to God's workers, but did they not come to Jesus? Shall we cover the Lord's altar with mourning and sighing and tears? God forbid. It comforts me to meditate upon the loving words of Jesus, to think of His courtesy, His sympathy, His compassion. I long to be like Him. I will rest in His care. He will make me a conqueror over evil.... 8MR 48.2

June 30—... I am told by some who come to see me that I shall never again have the use of my limbs. But I do not accept this view as truth. I know that the Lord has a work for me to do, and I will put my trust in Him. The outlook is not cheering, but God knows my situation. I rejoice that I can use my right hand. Bolstered up in a chair with pillows, I write many pages. I am able to keep my workers supplied with all they can possibly do. I could keep two more busy.... 8MR 48.3

Sick or well, I feel that every power of body and mind should be employed in glorifying God. We are not our own, to please and gratify self. We have been purchased by the blood of Christ, and it is our daily duty as well as our privilege to consecrate all that we have and are to the Saviour. 8MR 48.4

July 9—Last night I was not able to sleep after twelve o'clock. It was my thoughts more than pain of body that troubled me. There are some trials that it is not best to dwell upon, because there seems no clear way out of them. I try to cast my burden upon the Lord, but I do not always leave it there. I take it up again, when I should leave it with the Saviour.... 8MR 48.5

July 14—... During my wakeful hours I have sought the Lord most earnestly, asking Him to join my weakness to His strength, my ignorance to His wisdom, my unworthiness to His merit, my frailty to His enduring might, my poverty to His boundless wealth.—Manuscript 19, 1892, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13-30. (Diary, April 22 to July 14, 1892.) 8MR 49.1

Do not let the idea that I have the rheumatism scare anyone; for the work forced upon me for the last three or four years, the little sleep and rest that I have had has been enough to affect nerve and muscle; and the only marvel is that the strain has not made me a paralytic or perfectly helpless. The strain of the last year has been terrible on me, and I am surprised that I have endured it. To God alone is all the glory.... But no one will carry the burden I am obliged to carry; no one will have so little opportunities as I have had to “come apart and rest awhile.”—Letter 19c, 1892, p. 5. (To O. A. Olsen, January, 1892.) 8MR 49.2

July 16, 1892—The Saviour is our Comforter. This I have proved Him to be. I do not understand why I am so afflicted. At first I tried to reason out why I did not have strength to bear my testimony to the people in this country. But I try no longer.... 8MR 49.3

July 21—My constant prayer is that I may be uplifted into a purer, holier atmosphere. I am pleading with God to remove my suffering. And although I continue to suffer, I am comforted by the thought that Jesus knows, and that He will help me. I shall see light in His light. My right arm is free from pain, and for this blessing I thank the Lord. The dear Saviour will not leave us nor forsake us.... He encourages us in all our afflictions, ... and enables me to rejoice in His great mercy.... 8MR 49.4

July 28—Last night I obtained some rest, for which I thank my heavenly Father. I am cheered and blessed as I contemplate the life and mission of Christ on this earth. He was in a world which He had created, but He was unrecognized and unhonored by the many. “Foxes have holes,” He said, “and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay His head.” (Matthew 8:20.) He came to show man the way to the haven of eternal rest.... 8MR 50.1

July 29—I praise the Lord that in my affliction I may have the light and love of Jesus. His presence is everything to me,—comfort, hope, and soothing balm. Sometimes perplexing thoughts crowd upon my mind, but I will not cherish these thoughts. Jesus will take my troubles if I bring them to Him, and ask Him to carry them for me. It is not always easy to have trusting faith. We must behold Jesus by faith as an ever-present help in time of need. We must drink deep of the water of salvation, if we would be spiritually refreshed. The Lord is good and merciful. He is my Saviour, my joy and my crown of rejoicing. I will magnify His name. 8MR 50.2

August 4—During the past night I slept more than usual, and for this I thank my heavenly Father.... 8MR 50.3

August 11—Last night I did not sleep well. My mind was troubled, but I tried to lay my burdens at the feet of Jesus. Today I have written twenty pages.... 8MR 50.4

August 13—I have passed an unusually disagreeable night. I was afflicted with pain in every limb, and seven times during the night I was obliged to change my position. This means much pain.... 8MR 51.1

September 13—We did not get home from the school yesterday evening until after dark. I rested well during the night. I am grateful to my heavenly Father that my strength is increasing. I can use my limbs much better than I could. During my wakeful hours my mind is busy planning how we can best be a blessing to the believers in this country, and how we can best work for unbelievers. The work here is still in its infancy, and it will be bound about unless the hearts of those who believe the truth are softened and subdued by the grace of God.... 8MR 51.2

September 14—Last night I slept very little. So far the weather this month has been stormy. We endure the unpleasantness the more cheerfully when we think that farmers are rejoicing in the prospect of a good crop.—Manuscript 20, 1892, 32, 35, 39, 41, 45, 49. (Diary, July 16 to September 17, 1892.) 8MR 51.3

St. George's Terrace, Melbourne, Thursday, December 29, 1892—Word came from the company that were encamped in Fern Tree Gully, that they were desirous I should come—and as many others as could—to the Valley, twenty-five miles. The cars go within two miles of their encampment. We had but a few minutes to make our decision. As my head ached and I feared I could not write, I decided to go. Marian Davis and Emily accompanied me. Sister Maggie Hare, Sisters Daniells and Rousseau and Brother and Sister Salisbury went with us. 8MR 51.4

We found the atmosphere was better than in Melbourne. All were much pleased to meet us and we were well entertained. Our dining tent was under a canopy. Tablecloths were spread upon the ground and the camp of more than thirty seated themselves upon the ground to enjoy their repast. Brother Prismall came while we were eating and he enjoyed the dinner with us. All ate as if they relished the food. Excellent raspberries were obtained fresh from the vines, and they were so nice and fresh, I enjoyed them much. There were new potatoes and green peas and rice pudding. All ate with good appetites. 8MR 52.1

Then preparations were made with determination that Sister White should be transported to Fern Tree Gully. But I did not favor this, but they made their preparations. Brother Faulkhead walked two miles to find a chair before he could obtain one. They then cut strong poles, fastened the poles with cords to the chair, and seated me in the chair. Brethren Faulkhead and Prismall were determined to be carriers. Brother Faulkhead was the taller. He led the way, and Brother Prismall followed, one taking hold of the poles before, the other behind, and they thus bore me along. After we left the trap Brother Stephen Belden led the pony nearly one mile; then the carriage could go no farther, and I was seated in my chair with the human charioteers to take me over the road. We thus traveled two miles—I unwilling to burden them, but they determined to persevere—over logs, fallen trees, and narrow passages cut between trees by Byron Belden and his father. Sometimes it required four men to keep the chair conveyance in safety, as they had to climb fallen trees, sometimes one and two feet high. It was a marvelous passage, such as I never attempted to travel over before. 8MR 52.2

We came into a level spot in Fern Tree Gully, and tarried a while. There were trees of every form and of various dimensions and heights, and the burden of nature was the perfect, beautiful ferns growing from the top of these fern trees. One tree stood out in distinctive beauty of perfection from all others. The formation of the ferns upon the top of this tree, about twenty feet in height, was more perfect than anything we afterwards had the privilege of seeing. I delight to carry in my mind the model of nature's perfection in Fern Tree Gully. It is a beautiful specimen of the Lord's work in its natural state. Surrounding it were fern trees of large growth, but this tree was a crown or circular in form, and in beautiful exactitude and order, so fresh in foliage of deep green, that I was assured in my own mind that it could not be excelled. 8MR 53.1

Now we had not reached the dense growth and the question was, Should we go forward or return? Brethren Faulkhead and Prismall were for advancing. I was perfectly satisfied with what I had already seen. I could take the picture and preserve it in my mind—one fern tree so perfect in form amid a vast number that were of uncouth proportions and wanting in perfection in fern tree loveliness. 8MR 53.2

The church may be compared to this growth of trees. Many of the fern trees grow in awkward, unlovely positions. Some gather to themselves the properties of the earth which they appropriate to fern tree life, in beauty and strength and perfection. Others were bending sideways, unable to stand erect. In others, the fern boughs were imperfect, irregular, wanting in perfection of form and maturity. Thus it is with the church members, in the formation of Christian characters. Some do not appropriate to themselves the precious promises of God, and the provisions made at infinite cost to Heaven that divine power might combine with human effort, that all that is evil should be discarded and overcome, and through faith in Jesus Christ, through watchfulness and prayer, they might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 8MR 53.3

The brethren were not satisfied unless they took me the whole way, so on they went, in most inaccessible paths, until the journey was complete, and I stood under the shadow of the fern trees in the gully. There were the large trees covered with growing ferns, and it was very interesting to see the great height of these trees and their varied formation and manner of growth. There was revealed that young saplings had fastened themselves to the trunk of the fern tree and become one with it, growing into the tree and presenting entirely a different tree than the fern. Both were growing together. It was impossible to separate the one from the other unless the fern were much cut to pieces. 8MR 54.1

After viewing this wonderful production of nature as long as we thought safe, for it was quite damp in the forest of ferns, my bearers took up their burden, made their way to open ground, passed down the hill of thick, matted grass—a much shorter route than we came. We were not long descending the hill, and I gave my hearty thanks to those who were so full of perseverance to carry out the plans of their devising to have Sister White see Fern Tree Gully. I know they must be very tired, having carried me to the gully and back, no less than three miles. 8MR 54.2

All partook of dinner, then it was time to prepare to go to the cars. We rode to the cars, women sitting in the back of the carriage on the floor and making considerable sport of their situation. Emily walked the two miles and several other girls walked from choice. We found the cars crowded, but we would be only one hour and a half, which would be half past ten o'clock p.m. Elder Starr was waiting for us with horse and phaeton. 8MR 54.3

St. George's Terrace, Melbourne, Friday, December 30, 1892—I slept well during the night, and am not crippled this morning.... 8MR 55.1

St. George's Terrace, Melbourne, Sabbath, December 31, 1892—The last day of the year 1892 has come.... I spoke to the well filled tent with much freedom from Acts 10:1-8, giving the account of Cornelius’ vision, and the words of the angel, “Cornelius, ... Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God.” (Acts 10:3, 4.)—Manuscript 39, 1892. (Diary, December 29 to 31, 1892.) 8MR 55.2

Released May 20, 1977.