Counsels on Self-Identity

Counsel #13 — Parental Impact

Picture: Counsel #13 — Parental Impact CI 52.1

Kids don’t just “figure out” self-respect on their own. Instead, they learn it from what’s modeled and spoken to them every day. Parents, mentors, and caregivers have a powerful role in shaping how a child sees themselves and how they believe God sees them, too. CI 52.2

If a child only hears praise for their achievements, they may start to believe their value comes from performance. Children learn self-respect when their character is affirmed, not just their skills. Saying things like “I admire how kind you were today” or “Even though you didn’t win, I’m so proud of how hard you worked,” teaches them that who they are matters more than what they can do. Even small changes like putting down your phone when they’re talking and asking thoughtful questions about their day will build self-respect better than any trophy or compliment ever could. In today’s culture, where screens blast messages about beauty, popularity, and success, kids need a parent’s voice to rise above the noise. More importantly, replace those outside voices with the truth that they are fearfully and wonderfully made.^[50] CI 52.3

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NIV CI 52.4

“Above all things, parents should surround their children with an atmosphere of cheerfulness, courtesy, and love.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 426 CI 52.5

Reflect: What are some specific instances when you felt really seen or valued by someone you look up to? CI 52.6