Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #25 — Payback

Picture: Counsel #25 — Payback CR 383.1

Forgiveness is often a distant ideology meant for “do-gooders,” while the mainstream’s idea of “making things right” is through retribution, restitution, or some form of payback. Whether it’s in the courtroom, in business, or even in personal relationships, the message is the same: you owe me, and I won’t be satisfied until the debt is paid. From childhood, we’re taught that if someone takes from us, they should give back, or if someone hurts us, they should feel that same pain in return. CR 383.2

Fortunately, Christian forgiveness debunks this mindset. Scripture says that love keeps no record of wrongs, which means that true forgiveness doesn’t demand compensation before it can be given. It’s not about ignoring justice but about releasing the personal demand for repayment that chains our hearts to the offense. When you forgive in this way, you’re choosing to trust God with the outcome and acknowledging that your healing doesn’t depend on the offender’s ability to “make it up to you.” Forgiveness without compensation is not weakness! It’s spiritual strength. After all, God is the ultimate Judge, and only He can repay.^[407] CR 383.3

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV CR 383.4

“Men may be encouraged to put their cases into the hands of God; for in His own good time He will set matters right.” Ellen White in Conflict and Courage , p. 170 CR 383.5

Reflect: Who are you looking to pay back? CR 383.6