Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #15 — Forgive

Picture: Counsel #15 — Forgive CR 373.1

If you’ve experienced the highs and lows of human relationships, you’ve probably been wronged once or twice before. Whether from a close friend, family member, or some random person who cut you off on the interstate, the act of softening your heart to forgive isn’t easy. CR 373.2

Unlike what society thinks, forgiveness isn’t conditional; as a Christian, it’s required. Forgiveness is a spiritual muscle that you must keep exercising. True forgiveness is more than just saying “I’m over it,” or “I’m fine.” Rather, it’s a conscious decision to release resentment, surrender your “right” to revenge, and choose grace even when the wound still aches. In the Bible, Peter asked Jesus if forgiving someone seven times was sufficient, to which Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven (= 490 times!).”^[393] This is not a simple math equation, but a permanent heart posture that all Christians must seek to emulate. When the world tells you to cut people off who hurt you, or to withhold kindness until it’s earned, seek God first for a forgiving heart. You may never forget the hurt, and that’s okay. Forgiveness sometimes doesn’t mean reconciliation. It does mean asking the Holy Spirit to align our hearts with Christ’s.^[394] CR 373.3

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 NIV CR 373.4

“We can receive forgiveness from God only as we forgive others.” Ellen White in Prayer, p. 297 CR 373.5

Reflect: Whose offense against you still lives in your mind rent-free? CR 373.6