Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #22 — Bully Co-Workers

Picture: Counsel #22 — Bully Co-Workers CR 351.1

When you were in elementary school, did the “class bully” ever make fun of your clothes, mock your answers, or pick on you just because they could? It’s disheartening to realize that even in adulthood, bullies don’t just disappear. Instead of teasing at recess, it might be constant criticism in meetings, passive-aggressive emails, or subtle undermining in front of others. CR 351.2

The truth is, not every colleague will be easy to work with. Personalities clash, and others may carry their own unresolved struggles into the workplace. You can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can control your responses. Professionalism means choosing respect, even when it’s not reciprocated. Avoiding gossip, refusing to retaliate, and setting healthy boundaries so their negativity doesn’t affect your mental health is hard, but necessary. One practical approach is to create “buffers.” Perhaps scheduling shorter, more structured meetings with them, keeping email communication factual and brief, or involving a neutral third party when necessary. Meanwhile, always lean on God’s wisdom to discern when to engage and when to step back.^[367] CR 351.3

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...” Matthew 5:44 NIV CR 351.4

“Tell all your troubles to Jesus, and keep your heart free from retaliation, free from revenge, free from stubbornness. Let the love of God melt and subdue your soul. Speak no word that will throw a shadow upon your own soul and the souls of others.” Ellen White in Letters and Manuscripts, vol. 7, Letter 18a, 1891, par. 10 CR 351.5

Reflect: How can you set boundaries with a difficult coworker while still showing a Christlike character? CR 351.6