Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #15 — Dependable Without Dependency

Picture: Counsel #15 — Dependable Without Dependency CR 33.1

Being an independent, self-sufficient friend is essential for maintaining healthy, balanced relationships. The best friendships thrive when both individuals are capable of supporting themselves emotionally, physically, and mentally, without overburdening the other. While the basis of any friendship almost always involves sharing vulnerabilities and seeking advice, this shouldn’t be the primary component. CR 33.2

Just as you have your struggles and day-to-day conflicts, everyone else does as well. Although the Bible says that we are called to bear one another’s burdens,^[31] we must also take responsibility for our own lives.^[32] By being independent, we can create a healthy balance of supporting friends when they need us while giving them the space to navigate their challenges. For example, instead of constantly calling your friend for advice about a family problem, consider that your friend may be too busy to guide you 24-7. Instead, whenever you need advice or clarity, seek counsel from the One who is always present, always ready to listen, and all-knowing: God.^[33] CR 33.3

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV CR 33.4

“In order to receive help from Christ, we must realize our need. We must have a true knowledge of ourselves.” Ellen White in Homeward Bound, p. 236 CR 33.5

Reflect: Are you a self-sufficient friend? CR 33.6