Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #28 — Responsible Partners

Picture: Counsel #28 — Responsible Partners CR 291.1

In a healthy marriage, household responsibilities are not measured by perfection, but by collaboration. While tasks like doing the dishes, taking out the trash, folding laundry, or mowing the lawn may seem routine, how these duties are approached reveals a great deal about the relationship itself. CR 291.2

When one partner begins to keep score by mentally tracking who did what and how often, it can slowly create emotional tension. In a true Christian marriage, it isn’t about who does more but about supporting one another with a spirit of grace. For example, one person may prefer folding the laundry while the other prefers mowing the lawn. Either way, these things need to be communicated to avoid falling into the trap of unmet expectations. Without talking things through and being clear on who does what in the home, a healthy, functional marriage can quickly turn into a screaming match of who cleans or cooks more. Scripture reminds us that love keeps no record of wrong—this includes household chores.^[308] CR 291.3

“But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13 NIV CR 291.4

“No act of unselfish service, however small or simple, is ever lost.” Ellen White in The Retirement Years , p. 153 CR 291.5

Reflect: When you serve at home, is your motivation grounded in love or in a desire to be repaid? CR 291.6