Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #12 — A Real Father

Picture: Counsel #12 — A Real Father CR 217.1

What comes to mind when you hear the word “father”? For some, it’s comfort and stability, but for others, it may stir up memories of distance, harsh words, or even absence. That’s because society often paints two extremes: the passive, disengaged dad, or the controlling, authoritarian figure who demands respect but gives little in return. And oftentimes, where dads are not in a connected relationship with Christ, it is an accurate view! CR 217.2

Scripture paints a completely different picture of what men in the home should demonstrate. In the biblical model, a father isn’t just the one who earns the paycheck or enforces the rules. He’s a protector, a guide, a prayer warrior, and a steady presence. Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands and fathers to love as Christ loved the church — with sacrifice and selfless service. In the home, a godly father’s responsibility is to listen, admit when he’s wrong, speak the truth with gentleness, set boundaries with compassion, and partner with God to lead the home. Where a worldly father might model pride or power, a biblical father displays purpose. He teaches his children how to forgive by forgiving and shows them how to trust God in hardship — reflecting Jesus in his actions.^[228] CR 217.3

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 NIV CR 217.4

“The father’s duty to his children should be one of his first interests…” Ellen White in Reflecting Christ, p. 174 CR 217.5

Reflect: As a father, do you reflect God’s heart in how you lead? CR 217.6