Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #5 — Love Languages

Picture: Counsel #5 — Love Languages CR 155.1

Find out your spouse’s “love language”^[88] (the way a person best gives or receives love). Gary Chapman identifies these love languages as words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch (outside of sex), acts of service, and receiving gifts. Learn your partner’s trauma/stress triggers and avoid them where possible, and then practice using their love language to express affection and love in a way meaningful to them. CR 155.2

When your partner tells you what they need, listen and try with God’s help to meet that need. In return, have the courage to be honest about your needs and wants. CR 155.3

“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins…. As each has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.” 1 Peter 4:8, 10 NKJV CR 155.4

“There are many who regard the expression of love as a weakness, and they maintain a reserve that repels others. This spirit checks the current of sympathy. As the social and generous impulses are repressed, they wither, and the heart becomes desolate and cold…. Love cannot long exist without expression. Let not the heart of one connected with you starve for want of kindness and sympathy.” Ellen White in The Adventist Home, p. 107  CR 155.5

Reflect: What is your spouse’s love language? What is yours? Do you and your spouse practice “speaking” each other’s love language? CR 155.6