Counsels on Relationships

Counsel #25 — Authentically You

Picture: Counsel #25 — Authentically You CR 144.1

Being yourself in a relationship is extremely important if you want your partner to trust and respect you. Authenticity in relationships sets the stage for how the relationship will develop with time, so showing up as the real you—your values, quirks, and passions—is essential for maintaining a healthy connection with your partner. CR 144.2

Pretending to be someone else may seem cool for a while, but it will soon lead to frustration and disconnection. Before getting deeply involved in any relationship, you should start by being honest about your likes, dislikes, and goals. For example, if you’re passionate about volunteering or enjoy quiet nights over big parties, share that early on. This will help your partner understand and appreciate the real you while honoring your individuality. Being yourself also means expressing your feelings and needs openly, rather than hiding them to avoid conflict. Always remember that healthy relationships allow room for personal growth without guilt. God created you uniquely, so by embracing who you are, you will be able to build a relationship based on honesty, respect, and mutual appreciation, honoring both yourself and your partner.^[151] CR 144.3

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 NIV CR 144.4

“Never speak or act a falsehood.” Ellen White in In Heavenly Places, p. 179 CR 144.5

Reflect: Are you being yourself in your relationship or do you try to present yourself as being what your potential partner wants? CR 144.6