Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 20 (1905)
Ms 173, 1905
Diary, January 1905
NP
January 1-25, 1905
Portions of this manuscript are published in TDG 15; 5Bio 381.
January 1, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
Sunday, first day of the week, I awoke at one o’clock. It is a cool morning. Built my fire. Bowed before the Lord in prayer. I have so many things burdening my mind. I ask the Lord Jesus to direct me, to guide me. What shall I trace with my pen this morning in my diary? 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 1
I need the Great Guide to control my mind. What shall I trace with the pen first? I dare not be left to guesswork. We cannot afford to act by impulse, but intelligently. Oh, how much I feel that I need the guidance of the Holy Spirit! As Christ was about to leave His disciples, He had many things to say unto them; but He withheld some things, saying, “Ye cannot bear them now.” [John 16:12.] I pray the Lord, the divine Teacher, to instruct me to understand His Word and to apply His Word in my varied wants and necessities. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 2
January 2, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I was not able to sleep after one o’clock. I left my sleeping room as gently as possible after trying one hour to sleep, but [finding it] impossible. I left my room, seeking to make no disturbance of those sleeping. Gladly would I sleep if possible. Every waking moment I am pressed with burdens that are strong, and I plead with my Lord and Saviour to help me, to guide me, to hear my earnest prayers for the deep moving of the Holy Spirit. I am brain weary. In the morning hours I ask my heavenly Father for His grace and healing power. Almost continuously I have the great grace which I claim by faith. I fear the church are many of them asleep. Wickedness is steadily increasing. The church should be continually on guard. The warning is given me that the people need the living testimony of the Word, spoken unto them in decided spiritual power. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 3
January 3, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I did not arise at one o’clock this morning, but five o’clock. I was awake several times in the night, and my prayer was going up to God, pleading most earnestly that my head and eyesight might be preserved to write the important matter which is impressed upon my mind during the night season. I have representations. I am before large audiences speaking many words—the words of instruction for the present time. The burden presses me with such force I cannot sleep. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 4
I was so thankful when I looked at my timepiece and found it past four. I thanked the Lord the one-o’clock hour had been passed that night, and I came to my room to find Sister Nelson and Maggie Hare standing before a nice fire. I usually have the coals buried. In the morning take up the ashes, lay on my back log, kindle my fires with the prepared kindlings and smaller wood; but this morning all had been done. My wakefulness had been from time to time in the night, and these are my seasons of prayer. But that dread twelve-o’clock, one-o’clock hour was passed, and I hoped the spell was broken. I thank the Lord for this blessing. My prayer goes up to God for strength and grace this day to do the very work that the Lord has given me to do, to speak of things that will be needed in time to come when my pen is silent. I will praise the Lord, for on all Bible subjects my mind is clear and my expression in words forceful. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 5
January 3, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
Received Australian mail and found some very important matter in regard to moving the Echo office from Melbourne to a more-retired location in a rural district. This is now decided, and I thank the Lord that this decision is made. There is an excellent report of a sanitarium that seems to be well patronized. All are of good courage in the Lord. I am grateful to our heavenly Father, that in the expectation this sanitarium would be a decided means of success in reaching many souls in the highways and byways, we will not be disappointed. The report is excellent. May the Lord preside in this institution continually is my prayer. We have not moved from blind impulse in establishing this institution. I have been shown in the visions of the night what might be done in the sanitarium under management that was managed by the great Medical Healer Jesus Christ. We shall then have an intelligent and meaningful service. It is the rejection of light that has come to us in the Word and in the testimonies of His Holy Spirit that has caused a sad state of things in St. Helena. When the directions given of the Lord are obeyed, there will be harmonious action in the mind and the will of man, in harmony with the divine will. Such an important institution as a sanitarium demands consecrated managers in every line. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 6
January 6, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I praise the name of the Lord this morning I have slept until two o’clock. I carry a burden continually for those who are in Battle Creek. The time is drawing nigh when every soul will be tested and proved. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 7
Sabbath, January 7, 1905
St. Helena Sanitarium, California
I praise the Lord this morning I slept until four o’clock. There was not the usual awakening through the night. This is a great blessing to me, for which I am thankful. I have been carrying a heavy burden so long as I consider the spiritual condition of the people of God, moving so far below their privilege. I lie awake pleading with my heavenly Saviour to come to our help and raise up messengers that shall bear a message decidedly to the point. “Thy word is truth.” [John 17:17.] I long for physical strength and power, that out of the abundance of the heart moved by the Holy Spirit, the mouth may speak. Oft in the vision of the night, I am speaking to large companies; and in strong appeals I am repeatedly urging upon the companies before me: “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with Him in glory.” [Colossians 3:1-4.] 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 8
What a rich promise is this presented to us! Let us then show that we appreciate these promises and work to the point to be fully in earnest and to be thankful for such assurance. It is for our good and the good of all with whom we shall associate in all our public labors that we shall reveal that we are seeking those things that are above; that we answer to the figure, “for ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.” [Verse 3.] Oh, let this be our purpose, to be wide-awake to heed the counsel Christ has given to the Laodicean church! [Revelation 3:18-21 quoted.] 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 9
January 20, 1905
Mountain View, California
I thank the Lord I have slept until three o’clock. I am feeling a burden to come to the people Friday and speak a few words to them this morning, or at any time they may choose to have me speak. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 10
We left St. Helena yesterday at half-past six o’clock. It was dark and I feared we might encounter washouts, but our luggage wagon was leading with baggage. We arrived at the station all safe and waited half an hour for cars. We stepped on board, and clouds gathered on the high mountaintops, but there was no rain. We hope our rain this month has ended. We changed for boat, and in a short time again to take the cars. Waited twenty minutes and then took our place in the train. Plenty of seats. Changed at next station. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 11
We are well pleased with the house selected for us as long as our stay shall be. We have sun this morning at eleven o’clock. We have no fire in the rooms, but if the sun shines all day in the balcony adjoining our rooms—which is large as a room—we have plenty of warmth. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 12
I was not well yesterday. I seemed to be tired out in physical and mental powers. This morning I slept until three o’clock. Am better. I am enlightened by the Holy Spirit to present the light which has been given through a series of years, and to repeat the important facts to the churches and keep before our institutions all the matters which the Lord has given me of the refining, uplifting, sanctifying grace of Jesus Christ—matters prepared in books in the past-half century. We are, as churches, handling holy, sacred truth as common things. Write, and place in preparation to handle upon such occasions as we are not having. Write them in a book, and let not any of them be passed over. The publishing houses, the sanitariums, and the schools—every institution established—should have the light given them, which all need, for tests are coming. I shall now save my brain power. These messages have nearly all been carefully copied by typewriter and placed in keeping form. I brought one with me, given me in Cooranbong, which specified in plain words that East and West, North and South there is a deficiency of genuine Christlike work being done in America. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 13
I see no need of my seeking to furnish the things already prepared by typewriter. There is no need of a repetition. These writings bear various dates and were written in different places. I look them over this morning with great interest. I have spoken to the people at Mountain View and read this day, Friday, to the people assembled at half-past twelve o’clock. I read several pages copied from my diary in September 1899, while I was in Australia, and sent to America. This writing was to emphasize the great truth of individual stewardship and of growth in whatever line of business we are engaged to perform in connection with each other in the work. God’s people in every line, in every post of duty are to be His faithful servants. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 14
The audience seemed to be intensely interested in the subject which I read to them. One told me that never, never would he forget the reading—the principles brought out in such striking, forcible light. Oh, that our institutions may come up to a true, exalted, spiritual condition! 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 15
Saturday morning, January 21, 1905
Mountain View, California
I thank the Lord I am rested this morning. Slept until half-past two o’clock. My mind is drawn out during the night season. The one who has been serving as president of California Conference cannot properly represent the position he occupies unless he is reconverted. There was a strong move to select a man that cannot fill the bill. He does not command respect. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 16
January 22, 1905
Mountain View, California
Sunday morning, three o’clock a.m. I could not sleep after two o’clock, but I have much to occupy my thoughts in the night season—in the visions of the night—because a great work is to be done in the home church. What can we say that shall break the spell that is upon many souls right in this place? Many know not the day of their visitation. God calls upon all who are settling at Mountain View to awake. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 17
January 25, 1905
Mountain View, California
This morning I cannot sleep after one o’clock. My mind is on a train of thought. I have been carrying a heavy burden. The perplexities come upon me because there seems to be such departure from the plainest Bible instruction. I have renewed my covenant with God to cast all my burdens upon the great Burden-bearer. Great and precious truths may be brought into little things. Not one soul is left in darkness. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 18
*****
I am urged to attend meetings in various places, and gladly would I do this and at the same time prepare the books that should come before the people. The Lord’s will be done. If I attend meetings and am obliged to meet the various difficulties that come before me, my heart is made sad; for Jesus has invited all with their various difficulties to bring them to Him. “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” [Matthew 11:28-30.] 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 19
*****
January 1905
I place in my diary some things from pages I have written. I put them now to be preserved carefully. I am now to make some things plain. 20LtMs, Ms 173, 1905, par. 20