Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 18 (1903)

Lt 289, 1903

Belden, F. E.

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California

March 1, 1903

Previously unpublished.

Dear Nephew Frank Belden,—

Your bundle of letters was placed in my hand, but I could not possibly read them. I had a very intense experience in regard to many matters concerning the school at Berrien Springs, concerning the Southern field, concerning the Sanitarium in Battle Creek, concerning the Review and Herald office. And while their council was in session, I was sending in matters that they should have; but since the camp-meeting at Fresno, matters have opened before me in such an intense light [that] for eight weeks I could not sleep past 12 o’clock and was writing. 18LtMs, Lt 289, 1903, par. 1

My eyes troubled me and I was afraid I was sacrificing them, and yet I kept on. The last two weeks of December were the most agonizing weeks I have ever experienced, and I begged the Lord to relieve me from the awful pressure. But one thing after another rolled upon me, responsibilities that I could not bear. It seemingly would cost me my life, and I could not tell any one anything for they cannot see. Said my Instructor, They cannot understand these things. Then I wrote with all my might day and most of the night to that council, and I carry the load still. I at last had a collapse and could do no more. I had written all the warnings and cautions that were essential, and now I shall, I hope, be free. 18LtMs, Lt 289, 1903, par. 2

But I have not that hope, now that I have tried to keep alive, that you would sometime come to your senses and humble your heart and learn from your past experience that the Lord would [not] and could not endorse your spirit or actions. His name was not glorified. 18LtMs, Lt 289, 1903, par. 3

The Lord has a path marked out for you which is apparently so humble you refuse it. No, no, I cannot, I cannot encourage you. I have not the light that I can bind up your interest with ours. The choice you have made all the way along is not to glorify God. When the hand of the Lord and His voice are recognized, then you will understand you are not to wait until the Lord humbles you, as He has done again and again, but that you will humble yourself under His mighty hand. When you see that you have not that sanctified wisdom that will set you among princes, then you may with your whole heart, mind, and soul seek the Lord; and when you study the life of Christ with sanctified vision, then you will accept the ways of the Lord and glorify Him. 18LtMs, Lt 289, 1903, par. 4