Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 18 (1903)

Ms 177, 1903

Diary, December 1903

NP

December 2-17, 1903

Portions of this manuscript are published in UL 350; 12MR 84.

December 2, 1903

The past night, December 1, was to me one of great experience. I seemed to be in a meeting where there were a large number assembled—many believers and some unbelievers. On one occasion the company was divided into several smaller companies. I had a special burden and had addressed my remarks to some few under the temptations of the enemy. They were entertaining ideas that were not sound but would lead them into the denying of the truth. This present time in which we live is a period of great temptation to give heed to erroneous sentiments and suggestions of seducing spirits and to link up with evil angels and present the same as present truth. There was a deep interest manifested in searching the Scriptures. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 1

I had a special burden of prayer, and the peril of souls seemed to me so great upon my soul. I poured out the burden of my soul unto the Lord. I was pleading most earnestly for the Lord to break the power of the enemy and set us free, to let the minds of the beloved ones who are tempted go free, and to let the precious truth shine forth amid the moral darkness. I presented my prayer to the Lord that He would come forth to the help of His people and magnify the truth, that those who were uninformed would not be deceived in this period of great peril. I presented before the Lord our great need of special help to be granted to His people in accordance with the consistency of His attributes to work in our behalf and answer our prayers to glorify His own name. I was reaching higher and still higher, pleading with God to comply with our earnest supplications and let His truth at this time appear in all its dignity and beauty and saving grace, as He had often made known His special love and His special power and made the truth appear in its strength and its authority—to make known again His clear and sacred truth unmixed with chaff, which was dangerous to the flock of God. I pleaded, and I felt that the Lord had pledged Himself. Victory came in, and I awoke crying aloud in joy that the Lord had manifested to us His grace, His truth, and His salvation. I learned from the members of my family that my praying was aloud in my sleep. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 2

The precious goodness and love of God to me gave me comfort and strength and joy. I felt that I had a new source of hope and encouragement that deliverance would be wrought for souls in their gathering at Nashville. The Word of God will be established forever and forever. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 3

December 6, 1903

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

I have slept until one o’clock a.m. I am resting and praying for the grace of Christ to be more signally demonstrated by those who have a knowledge of Bible truth. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 4

December 10, 1903

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

The past night has been a night of great perplexity. Many things were represented to me which caused me much distress of mind. I have not been able to sleep after half-past twelve o’clock and there is much to think of. How shall we avoid spiritual difficulties we must meet if things are ever set in order? I leave my bed but do not feel refreshed as I would like to feel. Build my fire. Seek the Lord and ask Him to help me to do His will and not to take on burdens I can avoid. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 5

I find four manuscripts to read to be sent to the mail. Intended to visit Brother Fred Harmon who is sick, and the physicians say he can live but a few weeks. Cancer of the stomach is eating up his life. Willie tells me Brethren Knox and C. H. Jones and Brother Hall will be here for counsel this morning, and we must meet them at the station at half-past ten o’clock. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 6

We were much encouraged by the visit of these brethren. They have been long perplexed in regard to moving the office from Oakland, for there seemed to be no place that was suitable for them to occupy. Dangers are threatening and wickedness has become so bold and violent that there is no assurance of safety to remain longer. In the providence of God there is a rural location forty miles beyond Oakland toward Los Angeles. There is plenty of land that can be obtained and not now at the highest price. There is a place where the office will be located. The tract of land is fully large enough, and the cars come directly past this location and the citizens say they will extend the sidetrack already there. All their freight can be taken from the office in freight car and not be changed until it shall reach the places on the line where it shall go. This is a convenience they did not expect. There will be no more loading and unloading their freight to get to the railroad station to be placed in the cars. This place bears the name of Mountain View and is a healthful district, so called. The land is the best for agricultural purposes. Can raise any kind of fruit. Families of employees can cultivate a few acres of land and nearly sustain themselves. They have city privileges in electrical plant. Good wells will secure all the water they need without its having to be conducted long distances through pipes. Letters are brought to the doors as in the city. The brethren left on the afternoon train. We all felt that this location was in every way all we could expect and more than we could have had any idea of receiving. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 7

December 10, 1903

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

I thank the Lord this morning I slept until fifteen minutes before four a.m. That was doing much better than for some length of time. I thank the Lord for my fireplace. It is a great comfort. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 8

December 15, 1903

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

Tuesday morning. I am awakened at half-past twelve o’clock. I have a message for Brother Brunson. We were in a counsel meeting and an earnest effort was being made to examine the Scriptures together and to closely compare Scripture with Scripture, when One of authority—whom we had not noticed before and whom we decided had just come—stepped to the front and soon every ear was opened to hear. The words were spoken with that peculiar authority that no one could question, yet expressing in tenderness an interest. This was a messenger from heaven. An awe came upon all present. His words were spoken in response to one who had last made remarks. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 9

December 16, 1903

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

My mind has been much exercised in my waking periods, as I offer up prayer and lay hold of His strength who hath encouraged us. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 10

December 17, 1903

I awoke this morning and my heart is drawn out to my heavenly Father that He would—for the sake of His Son, whom I receive and whom I believe to be my Saviour and my Redeemer—relieve my burdened heart. I have carried this burden day after day, night after night, unable to sleep after one o’clock and often awake at twelve and sometimes at ten o’clock, because of the things presented to me. I repeat the words of Christ’s invitation, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” [Matthew 11:28, 29.] 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 11

My soul tries to lay off this load that I have been carrying for years as I behold the inconsistencies of those who claim to believe the truth, but have not practiced the truth. The Lord has presented before me the situation of the institutions that have been created to do a grand and elevated work for the Master. They are not heeding the messages the Lord sends in love and in mercy to His people, and the result in their crooked ways is an annoyance to the Lord God of Israel. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 12

The Lord has graciously given us His Word as the rule of our life and action, and how far away do the many professed Christians live apart from Christ! 1 Corinthians 13. This whole chapter is a lesson of the utmost importance for all church members to strictly practice. How can the church depart so largely from the Word and yet carry out the pretensions and claims of godliness which they do not practice and prove the truth to be the power of God? But strange things have yet to be opened. I will not say more for the time is not come. Silence is yet eloquence. But the Lord understands. There is a future, and when the time shall come the Lord will bring every secret thing to light. I will not place myself where I shall become confused. Truth will bear away the victory. 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 13

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[Note: On page 79 of Journal No. 48 is this significant notation:] “My workers must search through my books for matters on various points. I have these books to furnish matters that are needed.” 18LtMs, Ms 177, 1903, par. 14