Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 8 (1893)

Ms 80, 1893

Diary, April to May 1893

Wellington, New Zealand

April 18 - May 31, 1893

Portions of this manuscript are published in UL 137; TDG 156, 158; 3SM 115-116; 1888 1167-1170; 8MR 359; 17MR 301-302; 4Bio 92-93.

Tuesday, April 18, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

The weather is cloudy and very mild. This place is reported to be a windy place, usually, but there is no wind now. We are much pleased with our temporary home here. I have two excellent rooms, thoroughly furnished. Sister Tuxford has furnished the house with all necessary furniture. There are easy chairs in abundance and a good sofa, tables, and many things attractive. Sister Tuxford is the only one who is working and bearing the responsibilities—which are not light nor small—in this mission. She is a business woman and capable, pleasant and active. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 1

We decide the best arrangements we can make are not to burden Elder Israel and his wife to care for us. We will hire Sister Brown to prepare our meals, and Sister Tuxford will take her meals with us, we furnishing all the table supplies. Then we will have just that which we choose to get. Emily will then be free from care of housework to write out the discourses she has been taking in shorthand, and to give attention to her bookkeeping. This plan is considered to be wise. Willie and Sister Brown lodge in the house hired by Brother and Sister Israel, and we are well fixed here for at least one month. Now comes the taxing part of our work—preparing not only the American mail, which closes Thursday, but mail for Melbourne, which leaves every week. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 2

Wednesday, April 19, 1893

I arise early to engage in writing. We have many things we wish to communicate to several in America, but time is limited and I can write but very little in the three days left us. Willie is preparing articles, for which I furnish him a sketch of our travels and labors. There is much of his own writing that requires attention. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 3

Thursday, April 20, 1893

I have been taxed to the uttermost today and am getting nervous, and yet I know not what else to do for this preparation of letters seems to be essential. Oh, I will trust in the Lord for strength. Those letters will be published in the papers and save me writing personally to a large number. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 4

Friday, April 21, 1893

This day has been a day of great weariness to me because of the constant strain brought upon me in getting off essential writings, but the Lord will help me; He will strengthen me to do the work necessary to be done. Preparations are being made to go out six miles to Mentone on the Sabbath. Today the sun is shining, and it may be pleasant on the morrow. We have had no sun, but plenty of clouds like a thick blanket have shrouded the heavens, and we hail the sunshine with much joy. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 5

Saturday, April 22, 1893

Sabbath. Last night the stars shone like diamonds in the heavens, but this morning is cloudy and rainy. Elder Israel, W. C. White, and Sister Brown go to Mentone about nine o’clock. Sister Tuxford, Sister Israel and I go this afternoon, as soon as we shall take an early dinner. But rain, rain, rain is the order of the day. The hackman concluded we would not venture out. He sent a man to know if we intended to go. We said we would go and soon we were on our way. Brother Simpson, who bears the responsibilities of the meetings when he is at home, said to Willie, “I do not think your mother will come.” Willie said, “We will see. It would be an exceptional occurrence for my mother to fail to meet her appointments.” When we drove up to the place of meeting, there were about one dozen in all assembled, but when that carriage drove through the village and it was known I had come, the house was well filled, and, which was best of all, we had the heavenly Guest. The Lord gave me words to speak to the people. John 14. I was surprised, myself, at the words given me. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 6

Sunday, April 23, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I arise early—half past three—and get at work to prepare Melbourne mail, which I am told leaves Monday. Early in the morning the mail bag is brought in, and we are so anxious to open it to see what our letters contain; but we will not do this until after our morning worship. Then the mail bag is opened and there is a large number of papers, but no letters from Melbourne or from America. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 7

We concluded our mail had gone to Melbourne, and we must wait two weeks to get it back to New Zealand. Well, we will make the best of it and not feel sad one minute. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 8

At noon we were cheered by the arrival of Brother and Sister Starr. We parted with them just one week ago at Palmerston. They remained to visit and find by personal labor how best to help the few believers in that place. They feel now a satisfaction in knowing that they have done all in their power that could be done for the time being. There ought to be decided continuous meetings in that place, for the inhabitants have doubled since the meetings were held there four years ago by Brother Robert Hare. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 9

In the afternoon, near evening, we were happily disappointed in receiving quite a large stack of letters. W. C. White received a long communication of the conference doings from Elder Olsen. I received two important letters from Elder Olsen and Leroy Nicola, with a most thorough confession of the part he acted in Minneapolis. It is thorough, and I praise the Lord for the victory he has gained over the enemy who has held him four years from coming into the light. Oh, how hard it is to cure rebellion! How strong the deceiving power of Satan! 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 10

Wellington, N.Z., Monday, April 24. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 11

I have passed many sleepless hours during the night. The good news from America kept me awake. Oh, how my heart rejoices in the fact that the Lord is working in behalf of His people—in the information in the long letter from Elder Olsen, that the Lord by His Holy Spirit was working upon the hearts of those who have been in a large measure convinced of their true condition before God, yet have not humbled their hearts before to confess! The Spirit of the Lord moved them to the point at this conference. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 12

Elder Morrison, who has been so long president of the Iowa Conference, made a full confession. Madison Miller, who has been under the same deceiving power of the enemy, made his confession, and thus the Lord is indeed showing Himself merciful and of tender compassion to His children who have not received the light He has given them, but have been walking and working in darkness. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 13

Tuesday, April 25, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

We devoted some time—Elders Starr, Israel, W. C. White, and myself—in reference to what can be done in Wellington. Trials have been made which have resulted in nothing tangible. As Canright’s books have been circulated here, a lying representation from this lying apostate has gone forth and those who read his pretentious claims are deluded. If all the circumstances were known, then blind eyes might be opened. The Great Controversy has been widely circulated here in this country, and (I am told) the readers think much of the book. And now Mrs. White is on the ground, and the people will expect to hear her. If we make the effort, it will cost about two hundred dollars. The rink can be secured. It will hold one thousand people. The halls where theaters are held are not considered proper places. We decided on this occasion to go forward in the name of the Lord and risk something. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 14

Wednesday, April 26, 1893

Willie and I have [had a] consultation in regard to Elder Tenney. Shall a telegram be sent to Elder Tenney to remain in America, or to return to Australia? We felt, both Willie and myself, that for several reasons it would be wisdom for him to return. The impression has been entertained by some that it was a scheme concocted by our American brethren to have him go to America to the General Conference and then manage to have him remain there. We do not want the brethren in Australia to have this impression—that W. C. White and I have been working in an underhanded manner—because it is not true. We looked the situation all over and decided that Elder Tenney should attend the General Conference. After being separated so long from the great center of the work he had lost the impressions that are essential for him to have in regard to the management and progress of the work. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 15

Nearly everything in Australia was revolving around Brother Tenney, and he was not broadening and his ideas were not enlarging with the increasing progress of the work. He needs so much to grow out of the dwarfed ideas which he has, through want of association with the larger workings of the cause and with the brethren who were engaged in the living interests in America. He was becoming narrow and bound about in his ideas, and had not a sense of the greatness and the progress the work must make in this country. He has felt this decidedly, as I was assured he would, after meeting in conference our brethren who were infused with the living interests that were stirring their souls to decided action in doing something. We decided that the telegram must go at once, “Return to this country to engage in the work all over the field as the providence of God may indicate duty.” 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 16

In the after part of the day a telegram came from Napier that Elder Wilson, who contracted the measles from Sister Joseph Hare, has had a relapse and prayer is solicited in his behalf. Brethren Israel, Starr, W. C. White, and Simpson came into the parlor occupied by me, and we have had a praying season. We all sent up our requests to the Lord. A letter also was received in regard to Brother Anderson, who was laboring for the Scandinavians in _____. He labored for a while in the bush among the working class, and it was damp and wet. He contracted the rheumatism, and we prayed for Brother Anderson and Brother McCullagh that the Lord would heal these brethren and strengthen them to engage in active labor in His cause. Brother McCullagh is an excellent laborer, and the people all speak highly of his ability. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 17

Thursday, April 27, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Rested well during the night. I arise soon after four and engage in writing a letter to our afflicted Brother Wilson and his wife; also a letter of three pages to Sister Dr. Caro, seeking to encourage their faith in God. The enemy is stirred to action as he sees our camp meeting has been a decided victory, and that prejudice has been removed and quite a number of souls have left his army and the confederacy of evil and taken their position under the blood-stained banner of Prince Immanuel. The Lord will be the help of His people, their strong fortress in the day of trouble. He will not remove the few workers already in the field. The message of mercy must be proclaimed. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 18

We see by studying the map of New Zealand that only a little portion of it has yet heard the proclamation of the truth. The very best and more favorable fields have not yet been entered. I cannot see as it can be right to leave those fields in darkness and make no decided effort to get the truth before them. One thing I am assured of, that if we trust to the untrained men and women—even if they believe the truth—to engage in the various branches of the work, defection and a demoralized state of things will surely be the result. We must have experienced workers from America who know what it means to economize. It seems like an impossible task to take young men and young women with their previous education and training and set them at work in these difficult fields. They spend as fast as they go and do not know anything about self-denial. They get into debt everywhere and spoil every field which they work. The reputation of the truth and of Seventh-day Adventists becomes very clouded. We cannot afford to have tares being sown wherever this class of workers go, for they spoil the field for those who bear the message of truth to the people. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 19

Willie has just come in my room at four o’clock p.m. and tells me there is a boat to sail to Cape Town, South Africa, tomorrow, and asks if I have anything to send. I at once consider the matter. Can I let this favorable chance go? I say, No. I wrote to Brother Robinson eight pages of letter paper and Brother Wessels five. As the result I have a hard time to sleep. After eleven o’clock I am blessed with sleep until three a.m., but I fear I am presumptuous in writing them. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 20

Friday, April 28, 1893

We have many things to consider in regard to planning labor in this place, and in reference to getting matter into the mail before it shall close. Emily has all she can do to copy the thirteen pages going to Africa. I helped Emily out by reading to her while she copied, and happily we did get the matter off. Now I try to rest some, but my mind is on a strain all the time. How can we reach this people? How can we get them to hear? If we can only obtain some influence over them and get their confidence, then we can introduce the truth to them. The Lord God of Israel be our Counselor, for without His presence we shall decidedly fail. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 21

Wellington, N.Z., Saturday, April 29. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 22

We all go out six miles to Petone. Elder Starr, his wife, Elder Israel, and Willie go in the morning in the cars. Sister Tuxford, Sister Israel, Emily, and I go in hack after dinner. Elder Starr spoke in forenoon on the inspiration of the Scriptures. I spoke to them in the afternoon upon the lessons of Christ in fifteenth chapter of John. Precious things unfold to my mind constantly, making the Word of God to me shine forth in greater and increased loveliness. I wish to preserve every ray of light the Lord shall be pleased to give me to impart to others. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 23

We had a profitable meeting, but few of like precious faith assembled; but if these will seek to let the light shine in their hearts and then to others in clear, distinct rays, there will be souls who will come to the light. We had a social meeting, and nearly all of the few assembled bore their testimony. All seemed to be greatly encouraged and blessed. I feel deeply in regard to this part of the field. Something must be done. Oh, for workers who are consecrated to do Bible work, to go to the homes of those who are not in the truth and become acquainted with them and judiciously do a work for them, through the grace of God, which will arouse them from their lethargy to inquire with earnestness, What is truth? 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 24

A deep, deep sleep seems to be upon the people. Pleasure-loving, something new to attract the mind, something startling, and a dish of fables from the pulpit are relished, but the truth that would arouse and disturb their self-complacency is the very thing they do not want. The people seem encased as though nothing can penetrate the armor of self-deception and stolid indifference. Our cry is to God for help, for strength and power. He alone can work upon the hearts of the people of Wellington. Elder Daniells has had good congregations, but no souls have been brought into the truth. Elder Israel has been here much of the time for four years, but nothing has been successful to create an interest. The Great Controversy and other books have been taken in this city, yet no souls have been added as the result. What can be done? O Lord, lead and guide! 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 25

Sunday, April 30, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I arise early. Have not slept since three o’clock, but did not leave my bed until past four. I find the inclination is almost irresistible to do a larger amount of writing and speaking than is prudent for my health. My head aches and I do greatly desire more than mortal energy to engage in the service of God. But the Word declares, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.” Zechariah 4:6. We may have ever so great earnestness and zeal, but unless the Holy Spirit is abiding with us, making a place for the truth in the hearts of the people, disappointment will mark all our endeavors. We long for Jesus’ presence. “Without me,” He says, “ye can do nothing.” [John 15:5.] Thank the Lord for a pleasant day. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 26

At three o’clock I spoke in the skating rink to a good audience upon temperance. Many appeared to be deeply interested. Of course, on such an occasion some come only through curiosity and get not any good, but many will carry away ideas and it may be the sowing of the seed of truth in their hearts that will result in bearing fruit. We know the Word of God is not pleasing to the ears of those who have listened to fables. They want something to amuse and please their feelings. But we can only speak to the people the words of truth and soberness and then leave the result with God. A Paul may plant, and Apollos water; but it is God who giveth the increase. The subject is so large that it is difficult to know what to choose from that will be the most essential, but the Lord grant that in this effort to reach the people we may not meet with failure. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 27

Elder Starr spoke in the evening to nearly as large a congregation as we had in the afternoon, and he had a most important subject, the inspiration of the Scriptures. He spoke with freedom. This people have been prejudiced strongly against the Seventh-day Adventists by those who have done much injury to the cause of present truth by a disorderly work. Their life has not been an honor to the truth. Canright’s books have been circulated all through New Zealand and created much prejudice. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 28

But the Lord can and will make a place for His message in the hearts of the honest. Oh, for the deep movings of the Spirit of God is our prayer day and night. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 29

Monday, May 1, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I cannot sleep after four a.m. I thank the Lord that He has given me sleep, and I feel refreshed this morning. Emily attended the meeting last evening to take notes for Brother Starr. Sister Israel spent the evening with me. This morning is cloudy but the past night was beautiful. The moon shone so clear into my room. For two weeks we have had rain every day. Yesterday it only misted and sprinkled a little. Today it is cloudy and yet we hope the sun will shine. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 30

(Later). The clouds have rolled back from the heavens, and we have a most beautiful day. If I had a horse and carriage so that I could ride when I pleased, and when I most needed to be in the open air, it would be a great blessing to me. But everything in the line of living here costs much more than in America. I see so many I wish to help to go to school and obtain an education that I dare not use up money upon clothing or upon hiring horse and carriage unless it becomes a positive necessity. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 31

I am perplexed in regard to the case of Sister Brown. She is reticent, but my heart is drawn out for her. There has been a dread in her case because she has been afflicted with spasms, but this should not lead us to withdraw from her. She seems willing to do anything and is free to bear any burdens, faithful and intelligent and thorough in her work. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 32

Tuesday, May 2, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I arise at half past four o’clock and prepare to visit Petone, a town seven miles away. A carriage is hired to convey eight persons. It is a beautiful day, and mild—no rain, no strong winds which are customary in Wellington. We all enjoy the ride. The carriage is not easy. For me it is very trying to sit on these side seats, but the journey is not long, and I can endure to be uncomfortable for a little season. We take dinner at Brother Simpson’s. We furnished ourselves with abundant supplies, and we had our dinner with the family and enjoyed the social season very much. After dinner the company, with the exception of Brother and Sister Israel and myself, visited the woolen mills in Petone. I dared not expose myself to get weary, for I had an appointment in the evening to speak in the theater. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 33

At half past seven o’clock the meeting opened, and we were thankful to the Lord to see quite a large audience of people who listened with deep interest. I spoke to them for one hour from 1 Peter 1. The Lord gave me freedom, and I praise His holy name. Brother Simpson had been very anxious the people should hear Sister White and his expectations were more than met. Elder Canright’s books had been all through the community and did a work after Satan’s own order in leaving the most false impressions upon minds in reference to Mrs. White. But the Lord can counteract these satanic agencies, and He will give honest souls an opportunity to hear and judge for themselves in reference to message and messenger. Our meeting closed at five minutes before nine. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 34

We waited some little time for the carriage to come for us, so we did not leave the theater until half past nine p.m. We had a beautiful, mild evening to ride back to Wellington, but the horses were weary; and they were not strong enough to draw the heavy carriage so we made a slow business of getting home. We then took a cup of warm drink and talked some little time in reference to Carrie Gribble working in the kitchen at the school building, and decided she was not strong enough to do it. She has talent as a singer that but few have, and we must give her an opportunity to use her talent. She has been the means of bringing souls into the truth through giving Bible readings. This subject has been a burden on my mind for some time, and now I will send Carrie to school the next term and give her an opportunity to rest and recuperate. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 35

Wednesday, May 3, 1893

Arise early to engage in work. Last night I was, in my dreams, in Kaeo, standing before the little church assembled and was saying some plain words to them. I said, You need a deeper work of the grace of God in your hearts. You need to make the Word of God your study. You are altogether too much absorbed in business, and have but very little deep insight into spiritual things. You are not growing in the Christian graces. The Lord Jesus spoke plainly with His disciples in (John 15 and 16) in regard to the difficulties that they should meet in the world. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 36

The Lord our Saviour knew every phase of experience His disciples would meet and all the conflicts they would experience. The Lord Jesus Christ said to His disciples, “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.” John 15:18-21. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 37

We must not as Christians become fretted and impatient over coming in contact with worldly men. They have not the belief of the truth, and whatever they say or do, keep your temper. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 38

Every time you allow your feelings to become irritated you manifest in your words that you have not that faith that works by love and sanctifies the soul. You have personal pride and a large stock of self-sufficiency, and you are not in any case prepared to connect together in business capacity or even as Christians, because your own attributes of character are not of the Bible order, to retain your position as partners. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 39

Christians can maintain an untarnished reputation if they are Christians, which means Christlike. God has made every provision that through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ they should not fail nor be discouraged in a dark, troubled future, which He knew must come. The Lord Jesus Christ is grieved for His disciples, that they must pass through manifold afflictions from the world. He prepares them for that time of trial, of great temptation to lose their faith, by presenting before their minds the hopeful part of the future. He must mingle the bright, hopeful lines with the dark. (John 15:26): “But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me.” 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 40

Then He tells them that they will also cooperate with the Holy Spirit. The great Source of their strength—which is our changeless consolation and hope and courage—would ever be within their reach. They were to be Christ’s witnesses. “And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning.” John 15:27. They should be His faithful representatives to an apostate world. While in the world they are not to be of the world, but bear a faithful testimony against the evil that is working in worldly policy plans contrary to the truth and righteousness. “These things have I spoken unto you, that ye should not be offended.” John 16:1. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 41

He plainly presents their future trials. Verses 2, 3. “But these things have I told you, that when the time shall come, ye may remember that I told you of them. And these things I said not unto you in the beginning, because I was with you. But now I go my way to him that sent me; and none of you asketh me, Whither goest thou? But because I have said these things unto you, sorrow hath filled your heart.” Verses 4-6. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 42

These (chapters 14, 15, 16, 17) of John are of highest value for every soul who is consecrating his life to the service of God. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 43

Saturday, May 13, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I am not able to sleep later than four a.m. I have a burden on my mind for Dr. Kellogg, and [I] write him a letter. In the afternoon at three o’clock I spoke in [the] skating rink to a small company. Some few outsiders were present. I was sorry we had not a larger number, for it is much less taxing to speak to one thousand than to twenty-five. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 44

Sunday, May 14, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

Devoted the first part of the day to writing. This afternoon spoke to those assembled in skating rink upon Christ’s riding into Jerusalem. I had much freedom in speaking. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 45

Monday, May 15, 1893

I have slept well during the night, for which I am grateful. I am generally unable to sleep after half past three o’clock or four o’clock. I slept until five o’clock. I have worked earnestly to prepare articles to send to Marian and Fannie. Have a large package prepared, of which Elder Starr has taken charge. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 46

There have been committee meetings today to decide on some important matters. We feel sorry that we must part company with Brother and Sister Starr. We see that there is work in abundance for them to do here in New Zealand, but that cannot be, for there is no one to take his place in the school. We bade adieu to these dear friends at half past four o’clock p.m. Our prayers shall go with them. Just before they left, a mail was brought to us from Melbourne. We had not opportunity to read it before they left us. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 47

Wednesday, May 17, 1893

It is raining by spells today. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 48

I have an appointment to speak at the skating rink. Sister Brown, mother of Martha Brown who is doing our housework, came in upon us unexpectedly. She is a very soft-speaking woman. She took dinner with us. The family all attended meeting. I decided I could not afford to pay seven shillings for the privilege of riding a very short distance to the place of meeting. I took Willie’s arm and walked the distance without inconvenience. Talked to a small but interested audience upon religion in the home. I had much freedom in speaking. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 49

One lady has been out to hear me every time I have spoken. She is a woman of excellent appearance and listens with the deepest interest. She wanted to come for me and bring me to the meeting in the afternoon with her horse and phaeton, but she did not know where we lived. She said she would esteem it a privilege to do this. She told Brother Simpson and others that she had not heard the pure gospel preached since she left Ireland until she heard Mrs. White, and she was starving for spiritual food. She will be out to hear tomorrow. I speak the Word of God very plainly and bring the truth right home to the conscience. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 50

Thursday, May 18, 1893

This day was a day of peculiar taxation in getting off mail to go to America. I have had many letters to mail, some important articles that have required taxing effort for me, a long letter to Dr. Kellogg, [a] long article in reference to the teachers in school educating and training the children to be Christlike and how in order to do this they must keep their own spirit and thoughts in subjection to Jesus Christ. The sin of impatience, if allowed, will leaven the pupils with the same sin, therefore there cannot be too great carefulness in the selection of teachers who are placed over the youth to educate and mold and fashion a character of Christlikeness. Sent a long article to a brother in Nova Scotia. He is looking to himself in the place of looking to Jesus. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 51

Wrote twelve pages to Elder Olsen, a letter to Elder Haskell, Elder Ings, and many others. I felt relieved when at two o’clock the mail closed. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 52

Friday, May 19, 1893

Before breakfast wrote seven pages on The Life of Christ. We learn that Mr. McCalpin’s eldest son died suddenly in hospital. He has been sick with consumption a long while. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 53

W. C. White, Sister Tuxford, Emily Campbell, and I rode out today. Nearly all the way was by the bay which is a narrow body of water. As we rode on we came to a cluster of houses and I saw a good-sized steamer upon immense iron standards upon wheels. Men were repairing the boat and repainting and fitting her up for duty upon the waters. This immense thing upon land looked so very singular I could but consider the building of the ark on dry land in the days of Noah, but they needed no such immense iron standards to bear up the immense boat, for the fountains of the great deep were broken up and the windows of heaven were opened and the flood of waters from above and beneath formed a great sea and the wicked inhabitants were drowned. The rail track is laid from the water to the place where the boat is up for repairs, and when she is ready it is transported to the water and ready for service. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 54

Saturday, May 20, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I awoke this morning at quarter after three o’clock. I have been blessed with sweet sleep during the night. My heart is light in the Lord. I sensibly felt the past night that peace that Christ alone can give. We had a precious season at our family worship. Brother Harris was present, and the sister of Sister Brown who is doing our housework had come to be with us over the Sabbath. They live one hour’s ride on the cars, fifteen miles from Wellington. We enjoyed a season of refreshing from the Lord. His blessing came upon us as we prayed, and I felt a consciousness that I was abiding in Christ and Christ abiding in my heart by faith. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 55

As I seek the Lord this morning for His light and His love, there comes with force to my mind the promise of Christ that our heavenly Father is more willing to give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him than parents are to give good gifts unto their children. What could He, our great Teacher, say that would be more assuring? Our faith must at all times take Him, our Teacher, at His word. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 56

I spoke to the little company assembled in Rechabite Hall from 1 Peter 1:1-10. The Lord gave me freedom of spirit. We then had a social meeting and nearly all bore their testimony. Brother Harris spoke of receiving light and strength and encouragement. Brother Wilson spoke of being helped by the discourse. He said he found himself looking and depending altogether too much on feeling. Brethren Simpson and Mountain were ordained as elders of the Wellington church. This was a solemn exercise and the hearts of all were softened and melted by the Spirit of the Lord. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 57

We see the necessity of constantly exercising faith. I told them this world is our educating school to prepare us to graduate to the higher school--heaven above. Our eternal destiny we are deciding by our own course of action. We must form such characters in this life that we can be welcomed in the mansions Christ has gone to prepare for us. We are all in danger of misapprehending the claims of God upon us, and therefore there is a neglect to apply great truths to little things. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 58

The little things help to constitute the discipline of life. They are the means for the training of the soul for the development of character for the courts above. Grace, the grace of Christ, works in and with every child of God while, like the apostle, he is pressing from light to a greater light, from strength to a greater strength, until he can say, “I am more than conqueror through him that loved me and gave himself for me that I might be complete in him, not having my own righteousness but that righteousness which is by faith in Jesus Christ.” 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 59

Sunday, May 21, 1893

I commence my writing after a season of prayer, about half past five o’clock. Wrote seven pages of letter paper before breakfast. We felt comforted and blessed while we supplicated the throne of grace. Wrote several pages in reference to perfection of Christian character. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 60

How unwilling are the young—and the older, both men and women,—to part with their idol sins! Whatever inconvenience the habits which they have formed give to themselves and to others, they excuse their deficiencies as “It is my way,” and everyone must be satisfied with “my way.” They make no effort to overcome their way, and [they] take a way that is not approved of in the heavenly courts but is a trial to themselves and a trial to all with whom they associate. The Lord Jesus calls all such to perfect a Christian character. Christ invites, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11:29, 30.] 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 61

I walked out before dinner with my attendant, Sister Emily, a short distance. After dinner walked a short distance with W. C. White. Oh how trying, to be so hard to use my limbs! 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 62

I had a profitable talk with Sisters Brown. Sister Martha Brown needs better clothing. Talked with her sister, who will help her make her clothing. Had a profitable talk with Sister Wilson. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 63

In the evening I decided to walk to the tram which was to take us to the Rechabites’ hall for me to speak. We walked quite fast the short distance but no tram came along, and we ventured to walk the whole distance; but before I reached the hall I became painfully weary, and my hip pained me severely. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 64

I spoke one hour to the little few. Quite a number of strangers came in. My text was (John 14), first four verses. “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and take you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.” This, I told them, was the lesson and promise of the personal, second appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ. It had become a habit with those not of our faith, professed Christians, to think they were stigmatizing Seventh-day Adventists by showing their antipathy. “Oh, they are Adventists!” Jesus Christ’s discourse in (John 14) shows Himself an Adventist. He proclaimed His second coming to take His disciples, all who believe on His name, to the mansions He was going to prepare for them. In Acts first chapter, we read that when Jesus ascended to heaven, escorted by the angelic host, two angels proclaimed to the disciples, “Why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye see him go into heaven.” [Verse 11.] These disciples were Adventists! 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 65

Monday, May 22, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I am grateful to my heavenly Father this morning that I had the blessing of a comfortable night’s rest. I awakened many times in the night, suffered some pain, but slept again. Awoke at five o’clock a.m. I find I can use my feet and walk quite well, but sciatica causes me pain. I bow before God in prayer, and I plead with Him to take away my pain, to remove this affliction. I have not tried to walk as far since my severe suffering with inflammatory rheumatism. I confess to my heavenly Father my imprudence in venturing to test my limb and ask Him to forgive me for Christ’s sake and to be merciful to me, to restore me, and to remove the evil effects of this imprudent taxation. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 66

I have felt it was too much money to pay one dollar, seventy-five cents to be taken half a mile to the place of meeting in an easy phaeton. I see so many places I wish to use every shilling to benefit those whom I desire to send to the school. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 67

I feel comforted. The Lord will hear my prayer. He will remove this pain. Heaven is full of blessings, and He will bestow upon me some of these riches of His grace and heal me of my infirmities. I cast my helpless soul upon our Lord Jesus Christ and trust my suffering frame to Him to restore me that I may not appear so infirm. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 68

Upon the arrival of the boat in the morning, we had several visitors. Sister Edwards and two children and a brother who is to attend school came from Napier to Wellington. The boat leaves at three o’clock p.m. We had five not of our family yo dine with us. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 69

There is considerable confusion in preparing mail to be sent to Melbourne. I have to be very careful today in consequence of last evening’s taxation. I long for physical soundness, that I may accomplish all I desire to do. I believe the Lord will give me largely of His Holy Spirit that I may communicate to others that which He communicates to me. The Lord is good and greatly to be praised. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 70

Personal piety, how little practiced! No souls will be converted if approached with harshness, contempt and denunciation. It is time that heart should touch heart with the sense of our own infirmities, and a sympathy for the infirmities of others. If our hold upon the Mighty One is firm, our piety will be sweet and sound and healthful and will have nothing to fear from contact with error. If our trust is continually abiding in Christ, we shall not have less zeal because of abounding iniquity. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 71

We will keep close to the bleeding side of Jesus. Humility will then mark our life and be distinguished in our character. We will have the mind of Christ and achieve victories that will cause rejoicing in heaven because we have found the sheep that was lost. My heart must be in the work. I must be constantly seeking those things that are above, where Christ sitteth at the right hand of God. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 72

Tuesday, May 23, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

It is cloudy and raining this morning. I have been writing upon the life of Christ since four o’clock. Oh, that the Holy Spirit may rest and abide upon me, that my pen may trace the words which will communicate to others the light which the Lord has been pleased in His great mercy and love to give to me! 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 73

While at the breakfast table W. C. White read a letter from Elder Daniells in reference to his finding a large tract of land which can now be secured at a low figure. He thinks it might be a good location for the school and other buildings and agricultural business. W. C. White, we think, may go to see this tract of land. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 74

Wednesday, May 24, 1893

It has rained hard through the evening. Cleared off in the night. Rained in morning. Very dark with clouds. Riding out twenty miles is in no way consistent. We cannot go, and are not disappointed. Willie decides to leave us Friday morning. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 75

Friday, May 26, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I thank the Lord for a few hours of precious rest during the sleeping hours. A portion of the night I was very nervous; the latter part of the night slept well. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 76

W. C. White and Brother Harris left on steamer for Auckland at two o’clock p.m. The Echo office in Melbourne have sent an urgent request for him to visit them and counsel with them in regard to important business transactions. Elder Daniells has been looking up land which he wishes to have counsel upon in regard to school. We shall miss Willie very much, but if he can do more good than remaining in Wellington, we would not, to please myself, have him remain. I will trust myself in the charge of Sister Emily Campbell. She is true and faithful. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 77

Saturday, May 27, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

My head is weary this morning. Mist and clouds hang over my mind; but the suggestions of the enemy to distrust the Lord shall not be cherished. Now is my time to fight the good fight of faith. Now is the very occasion that needs the steady faith that works by love (to God) and purifies my soul. I seek the Lord more earnestly. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 78

In (1 Chronicles 28:9) David gives his charge to Solomon: “And thou, Solomon, my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.” 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 79

The message was brought to Asa by the Lord’s prophet: “The Lord is with you, while ye be with him; and if ye seek him he will be found of you; but if ye forsake him, he will forsake you.” 2 Chronicles 15:2. Jeremiah 29:11-13. My heart goes out in faith. Faith is not feeling; faith is not sight. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 80

I spoke in the Rechabite’s hall at three p.m. from Philippians 4:4-7. “Be careful (over anxious) for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” I believe the promise is for me, and I appropriate the same personally. The promise itself is of no value unless I fully believe that He that has made the promise is abundantly able to fulfill, and infinite in power to do all that He has said. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 81

The message the Lord gave me was a message of faith. We cannot dishonor God more than in distrusting His Word. Feeling is not at all reliable. A religion fed and kept alive by emotions is valueless. God’s Word is the foundation upon which our hopes may safely rest, and in the confidence we have in the word of God we are established, strengthened, settled, riveted to the Eternal Rock. Then the prayer of Paul will be answered: 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 82

“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.” (Here is plainly brought before us a faith that works. It is not an idle, dead faith, but a living, acting principle.) “Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son.” Colossians 1:9-13. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 83

We had a precious social meeting. We were comforted and blessed. All seemed lifted up by the Spirit of God into a purer, holier atmosphere. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 84

Sunday, May 28, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

My head is tired but the Lord has given me sleep during the night. For this I praise His holy name. I am made mindful that I am mortal and that I must not be presumptuous. I walked some little distance to meet the cars, but it was painful business. The sciatica sets in [with] standing and speaking one hour, then walking a distance to the tram and then a distance from the tram to the mission is very difficult and painful. I fear I must give this up. It costs me seven and sixpence to ride in an easy carriage even a short distance, but I must do this—expend more money—or become a great sufferer. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 85

Three students came from Napier on the steamer this morning on their way to Melbourne to attend school at George’s Terrace. Brother and Sister Wilson took dinner with us. As soon as our meal was ended, the hack drove up and four of us rode out in it. It was very comfortable. The scenery was grand. We enjoyed it much. The phaeton which we usually hire was already let, so Mrs. Somerville kindly ordered the two-horse brougham, the nicest kind of a conveyance, and furnished the driver for the same price. It was a pleasant, bracing day and we all enjoyed it very much. The road was excellent. It was the road to the cemetery and wound around the mountains horseshoe fashion. Brother Wilson spoke in the evening in Rechabite Hall. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 86

Monday, May 29, 1893

I praise the Lord this morning for the peace I enjoy. There is perfect rest for me in the Lord. I trust in His love. Why should we not rest in the love of God, the assurance of His Word? What saith Jesus? “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” What can be more positive than this promise? “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30. Then come; let us who believe in Jesus Christ not delay a moment, but come. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 87

All who hold fast to themselves, as if fearful that after all the Lord Jesus does not mean as He says, show great dishonor to God. In keeping away from Jesus do not our actions say, “I do not believe the Lord Jesus means it”? You do not treat your human friends in this doubting, distrustful manner. If they show you respect, if they make you a promise, you do not say, “I have no faith; I cannot believe any of your promises. This is very trying to me, nevertheless I cannot believe your word.” 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 88

You virtually tell God all of this in your actions. You feel terribly burdened over some things that have happened. You grieve and distress yourself over the trial. You write bitter things against yourself. A voice comes to you from One you have every reason to believe and trust implicitly, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” [Verse 28.] You have found the rest always when you have come, but you begin to question, to look at yourself, to groan over yourself. Now stop all this. Take off that yoke you have manufactured for your neck, which galls so terribly, and take Christ’s yoke, which He declares is easy, and His burden, which He tells you is light. Will you say, “I have no faith in God. I cannot believe God”? 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 89

The Holy Spirit is the Comforter, your Comforter. Has the Holy Spirit failed to fulfill His part of the work? If so, you are not to blame. But the promise is sure and steadfast. When you say you have not faith in God you make God a liar and show that you have no confidence in the Holy Spirit’s work, which is always ready to help our infirmities. He is always waiting at your door, always knocking for admittance. Let Him in. All you have to do is to put your will over on the Lord’s side. You need the promise, but it is the infinite One behind the promise in whom you are to have perfect confidence. Say it: “I am the Lord’s. I do believe.” Crowd out every doubt from the soul. Have faith in God. He loves you. Never, never allow yourself to doubt or distrust Him. He will take your burdens if you will let Him have them, and will give you peace which is the peace of Christ. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 90

Tuesday, May 30, 1893

I have had a precious night’s rest. I did not sleep until past ten o’clock, but my sleep and rest were a blessing to me. My head has been very tired and this day I have felt much prostrated. Yesterday was also very bad for me. Sister Tuxford left us this morning for Napier, to remain there until next Tuesday morning. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 91

We rode out, Emily and I, Elder Israel driving. We went up the hill toward the graveyard but did not go that far. Elder Israel and Emily walked up the hill, and we did not want to go fast. We had time to view the hills and mountains and the houses among the mountains—high up. The houses are built in almost every kind of a place. There is a steep, very steep, ascent to reach the houses. Every available place where a house can be built is improved, for Wellington is composed of hills and mountains. We could look down into the valley and see houses far below us. We could look up the mountain steeps and see houses up the mountains, terrace rising above terrace. The mountain air seemed light, fresh, and pure. We marked the change as we came into the valley; it was heavy, and after breathing the pure mountain atmosphere seemed almost oppressive. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 92

Wednesday, May 31, 1893

Wellington, N. Z.

I have, through the mercy and blessing of God, slept well during the night. Awake at half past three. Rise at half past four, but my head continues weak, and I am unable to write. The day is pleasant, and we decide to ride in the open air. I have a sense of exhaustion that I do not like, for it prevents my working and doing the writing I much desire to do. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 93

The Lord is my Helper. The Lord Jesus is my Restorer. He will strengthen and bless me. He will not have me be overcome of the enemy. My heart is uplifted to God day and night for clearness of mind, for strength, for fortitude and courage. 8LtMs, Ms 80, 1893, par. 94