Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 7 (1891-1892)

Lt 18a, 1891

Kynett, Brother and Sister

Battle Creek, Michigan

April 13, 1891

Portions of this letter are published in AH 106, 112, 119.

Dear Brother and Sister Kynett,

It is a hard matter to adjust family difficulties, even when husband and wife seek to make a fair and just settlement in regard to their several duties, if they have failed to submit the heart to God. How can husband and wife divide the interest of their home life, and still keep a loving, firm hold upon each other. They should have a united interest in all that concerns their homemaking, and the wife, if a Christian, will have her interest with her husband, as his companion; for the husband is to stand as the head of the household. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 1

Satan is ever ready to take advantage when any matter of variance arises; and by moving upon the objectionable, hereditary traits of character in husband or wife, he will try to cause the alienation of those who have united their interests in a solemn covenant before God. In the marriage vows they have promised to be as one, the wife covenanting to love and obey her husband, the husband promising to love and cherish his wife. If the law of God is obeyed, the demon of strife will be kept out of the family, and no separation of interests will take place, no alienation of affection will be permitted. The wife should see to it that she reverences her husband, and the husband should see that he cherishes his wife as Christ cherishes and loves the church. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 2

Sister Kynett, you have misconceived your husband’s intention, and this misconception has led to your want of confidence in him, and you have not the clear spiritual perception necessary to bring you into perfect harmony with him. You need love, the love of Jesus. You imagine that if you could have the handling of the money you desire, you would be at rest and happy; but it is the peace of Christ, the disposition softened and subdued by the Holy Spirit of God that will make you happy and your home a heaven below. No amount of money could soften your perverse and unsanctified will. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 3

Without mutual forbearance and love, no earthly power can hold you and your husband in the bonds of Christian unity. Your companionship in the marriage relation should be close and tender, holy and elevated, breathing a spiritual power into your lives, that you may be everything to each other that God’s Word requires. When you reach the condition that the Lord desires you to reach, you will find heaven below, and God in your life. If you decide to have your own way, and refuse to take God’s way, you can make your home very wretched; but remember, only Bible Christians will see the kingdom of heaven. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 4

Your spirit is morbid with selfishness. This spirit influences your character; and as mind rules matter, so character rules mind. The spirit you manifest is one of gall and bitterness and makes it evident that you have not the mind of Christ. The Lord Jesus denied Himself, left the heavenly courts, and came to our world, for our sake humbling Himself at every step. Divinity was one with humanity. By a course of unexampled self-denial, Christ overcame the greatest obstacles that Satan could raise to hinder and discourage Him in His divine mission. But Christ would not fail nor be discouraged. He had come to save the souls of men, He had pushed His way through Satan’s ranks from heaven to earth, and He steadfastly kept His feet in the path that led to Calvary, where He became man’s sacrifice and surety. He came to our world and descended to the depths of humiliation which no line can fathom. He presented to the world the amazing spectacle of God dying for the salvation of the fallen race. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 5

When we see the haughty spirit of men and women, see them unwilling to sacrifice their own way even for the salvation of their own precious souls for whom Christ died, we can but wonder and mourn. There is but one remedy for your mental and moral disorder, and it is contained in these words, “Die to self.” “Make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way, but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord, looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” [Hebrews 12:13-15.] 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 6

“We then as workers together with him, beseech you that you receive not the grace of God in vain.” [2 Corinthians 6:1.] “And you hath He quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sin; wherein in times past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience.” “But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ (by grace are ye saved;) and hath raised us up together and hath made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” [Ephesians 2:1, 2, 4-6.] 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 7

Sister Kynett, you gather unhappiness about you as dark clouds. You darken the atmosphere around you because your will is not sanctified to God. That will must be sanctified wholly, brought into submission by the grace of Jesus Christ, or you will never see heaven. You have both erred, and you both must return unto God with contrition of soul. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 8

Sister Kynett, you think in order to be at peace and rest that your husband must meet your ideas and concede to your demands in regard to financial matters; but should he in every particular do as you wish, he would only be encouraging the temptations which you have failed to resist in the past, and your case would not be helped one jot. If you should have your own way in this, you would want it in everything. If the least disagreement should arise about any other matter, you would set your strong, untamable spirit at work to bring your husband around to your terms of peace. But your peace would be only outward peace, and Satan would continue this line of temptation, urging you to gain your point again and again, until you would be in perfect subjection to his evil will. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 9

You are now at work on Satan’s side of the question. What should you do? Do your duty before God in every place, and put away all bitter feelings from your heart. Even if you think your husband does not deal justly with you, do not try to vindicate your own cause. Tell all your troubles to Jesus, and keep your heart free from retaliation, free from revenge, free from stubbornness. Let the love of God melt and subdue your soul. Speak no word that will throw a shadow upon your own soul and the souls of others. Let the bright beams of the Sun of Righteousness into your heart, and then you will not talk so much about your rights. Should you obtain that which you think is your right, you would not be a whit happier. All deceitful practices, all underhand work you may be tempted to practice, are of Satan’s devising. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 10

But what can I say to you? Your spirit is wholly unlike the spirit of Christ. If you do not have what you term “your share” in the property and the business, do not on this account destroy your soul. The Lord knows all about your trouble, and He can work to set things in order; but with the spirit which now controls your heart and molds your character, you would fail to make a right use of the share you demand, but would do yourself and others serious wrong. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 11

When I had a short conversation with you, I told you that I had been shown your case, and that you were in the wrong and must be converted. Why remain in the cave, in Satan’s cave of darkness? Why not come out and stand at the door, and see what the Lord will speak to you? I give you these words as one who loves your soul. I beseech you, fall upon the Rock and be broken. Self must die, you must be crucified. When you are free from selfishness, free from sin, you will be fitted to do others good; but while your heart has been under the storm of temptation, you have been trying to do missionary work, and the Lord asks, Who can accept this at your hand? 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 12

Cease to do evil, learn to do well, and the Lord will bless you. When the heart is not right with God, it is cold and loveless. There is plenty of home missionary work to do by your own fireside, to the members of your own household; and if you become a partaker of the divine nature, you will, like the great Example, neither fail nor be discouraged. If your kindness is not appreciated, you will bear it with meekness; for you will do everything for others as if for Christ, who died for you and them. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 13

The noblest revenge we can take upon our enemies is to do them a kindness. To return malice for malice, injury for injury, will gratify the carnal heart, but it will only render our enemies more bitter. He who works with God will have the Spirit of Christ, and will be a blessing to all with whom he associates. The law of kindness will be engraven in his heart and expressed by his lips. In discouragement he will not give utterance to words of unbelief and murmuring, but will speak words of encouragement, strengthening the fainthearted, and sympathizing with the afflicted. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 14

O, may the mind of Christ be in you, that your works may have the fragrance of heaven! Shall the knowledge of God which Christ came from heaven to unfold to the world, remain in our possession through a lifetime, and never be disseminated? Shall our greatest curse be the fact that we knew our duty and did it not? To know Jesus is life eternal; and God who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, is longing to send the bright beams into your heart, to give the light of the knowledge of His glory in the face of Jesus Christ. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 15

I beseech you, press together, love each other, be true to each other and to your God; and when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard for you against him. See that none render evil for evil unto any man, but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves and among all men. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 16

Sister Kynett, I was shown that when you want to carry your point, you break forth into a passion of angry tears and lamentation and woe. This is not only a sin against your own soul, but a sin against your family and against God. Better have true contrition of soul, better confess your sin, than do as you have been doing. The Lord reads your heart as an open book, and He requires that you have truth in the inward parts. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 17

Brother Kynett, I would say to you, Seek the Lord. Let not Satan destroy your soul. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 18

Sister Kynett, I would that you might see how terrible is the sin of stubbornness, how you are strengthening your hatred of your husband and of your own mother. O that you might see the abhorrent character of selfishness, and become converted and be a child of God! You cannot storm your way through as you have been seeking to do. You will bring upon yourself disease that you cannot master. You are making yourself miserable when there is no occasion for so doing. 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 19

Open the door of your heart, and let Jesus come in and abide with you. Then you will be a blessing indeed to all around you. Now you are a shadow, a cloud. May the Lord work for you, and may you see that you have manufactured for your neck a galling yoke that is not the yoke of Christ. Christ asks you to change this yoke. He says, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” [Matthew 11:28, 29.] 7LtMs, Lt 18a, 1891, par. 20