Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 2 (1869 - 1875)

176/363

Ms 4, 1873

Diary, February 1873

California

February 1 - February 28, 1873

Portions of this manuscript are published in TSB 19; 3MR 174; 6MR 291-292; 11MR 119-120.

[San Francisco,]

Sabbath, February 1, 1873

It is a wet, cold, dreary day. I have appointment and must fill it. I am sick. My face is swollen. My teeth will hardly remain in my mouth, my gums are so badly swollen. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 1

I committed my case to our heavenly Father and at the appointed time I went to the meeting in Excelsior Hall. We found a goodly number assembled in Bible class. Opened meeting by singing hymn. I then prayed earnestly for the Lord to work for His church and to give me strength to speak to those present. I had some freedom in prayer. I then spoke from John 17:20-23. I spoke, feeling the words I uttered with tears. I entreated the people that the prayer of Christ might not be in vain. There was a melting spirit with some, while others seemed to be as unimpressionable as stones. Some wept freely as we dwelt upon the inexpressible love of Christ for fallen man. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 2

We had one hour’s intermission. Brother Chittenden went home and brought a large market basket full of provisions. He invited all to eat freely. Most that where at the forenoon meeting did not go home. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 3

After taking refreshment we opened the meeting with singing and I again pleaded earnestly with God for His presence and His power in the meeting. I felt that the Lord indeed heard me pray. Notwithstanding I suffered much pain in my face and head, the Lord enabled me to rise above it all and speak with great freedom and power to the people from Psalms 15, dwelling especially upon the third verse, showing the sin of gossip and talk of our brethren's faults. While we are so busily engaged in seeing our brethren's faults we neglect our own souls, and poisonous weeds are flourishing in the garden of our hearts. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 4

Sunday, February 2, 1873

[San Francisco,]

It is a cold, rainy, dismal day. I suffered much during the night and could not sit up through the day today. After returning from meeting I was compelled to lie down and keep perfectly quiet. Sister Hall fomented my face. This gave me some relief. Brother and Sister Chittenden did all that they could for my comfort. Today my face is very much swollen. I have had several callers, but I refused to see several who have called on Brother Chittenden’s family. Sister Chittenden’s little Georgie is sick with scarlet fever. This is indeed a house of affliction. May God pity us all, is my silent prayer. The state of the church weighs upon me heavily. I feel almost discouraged in regard to the cases of several. They do not seem to have a spirit of confession and of humility. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 5

Monday, February 3, 1873

[San Francisco,]

It remains gloomy and stormy. We are thinking of leaving San Francisco for Santa Rosa today. I am still weak and sick, but I feel that it would be better to go than to stay. Many insisted it was imprudent, but I feel that I must go. Sister Dunivent called; brought me paper of figs and oranges. We took a hasty lunch and went to the boat. I have no appetite to eat. I have considerable fever. The passage on the boat was very pleasant, and I endured the journey upon the cars well. Met my husband and Elder Loughborough at the depot. They had no carriage. I told them I thought I could walk. I did walk, but it was too much for me. Notwithstanding this, I rested well during the night. For this I was very grateful. We received several letters. My husband had received letters from our children. We were glad to read and find they were well, cheerful and happy. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 6

Tuesday, February 4, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It remains cloudy and rainy. The weather is quite warm. I am still feeling very weak. I tried to write to San Francisco to the brethren. Wrote twenty-seven pages upon the blessings Christ pronounced upon the mount. I had some freedom in writing. Brother Loughborough attended meeting to take up the case of Brother Wood. At our season of prayer I tried to pray for the brethren at San Francisco. My heart felt loath to give them up, and yet it seemed to me we could do most of them no good. I felt to weep in brokenness of spirit before God, as I felt that many were shutting away the light from them, and that darkness was enclosing them as a garment. We remembered the case of Sister Chittenden and her sick child. We prayed the Lord to be with them in this affliction. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 7

Wednesday, February 5, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It still remains cloudy and rainy. I am still weak; cannot write or ready much today. My husband seems to be doing well. I took pack in forenoon. My husband also took pack. Brother Sallie and Brother Dennison called. My husband talked with them in reference to Brother Hewitt’s case and related the facts in regard to matters at the office. Brother Hewitt has been injuring his own soul and injuring my husband by telling things he has heard from outsiders and from disaffected persons at Battle Creek in regard to my husband’s connection with the office. My husband proposes to meet Brother Hewitt before the brethren and disabuse his mind and theirs in reference to the matter. We received letters from Brother Kellogg and Edson and Willie. We find they are doing nobly in their studies. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 8

Thursday, February 6, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It is still rainy and gloomy. Elder Loughborough left this morning for San Francisco. My husband and myself wrote a short letter to the church telling them our convictions in regard to their present position—that they were rejecting light and that darkness would come upon them. We rode down to the city, purchased wintergreen oil. I took pack. Felt better after the pack. We received several letters. Rode out several miles. Sent a letter of four pages to Edson. Elder Loughborough wrote us from San Francisco. There was no home for him and he took rooms and bought his own dinner. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 9

Friday, February 7, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It continues rainy. We walked out some distance for exercise. I again resumed my writing upon Spirit of Prophecy. Received letters from Loughborough, from Emma White, and from Mary Chase, Fairfield Corners, Maine. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 10

Sabbath, February 8, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It continues rainy. The storm increases. Brother Dennison called to inquire if we would speak at the church. We decided to remain at home if it continues raining. I looked over my writings with my husband. Prepared twenty pages of manuscript for a printer. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 11

Sister L. went to meeting. Reports very good meeting. Matters were introduced in meeting and resolutions taken that the money which Elder Cornell should refund should not be received by them. They do not understand the case and are moving in the dark. Brother Dennison came in and talked matters over some. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 12

Evening after the Sabbath, Brethren Hager and Sallie came in and my husband explained business matters of the office to them, showing them that the reports of Brother Hewitt are not correct. Brother Hewitt refused to meet [with] them to hear my husband explain himself and free himself from the charges Brother Hewitt has brought against him. This shows great unfairness in Brother Hewitt. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 13

Sunday, February 9, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

Rainy in the morning. Cleared away toward noon. We have promise now of fair weather. My husband and myself wrote some. I took pack and he a sitz bath. We think this treatment is doing us good. We rested till dinner time. Ate lightly, then walked one mile and half. Resumed writing until near sundown. My husband is writing for Reformer. We rode several miles. After we returned, wrote several letters. I wrote four pages to our daughter Emma; four pages to Marcus Lichtenstein. My husband wrote to Brethren Abbey, Smith, Kellogg, and Cornell. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 14

We have seen the wonders of God in a gorgeous rainbow spanning the heavens. The reflection of the gold, purple, and silver upon the green mountains was a lovely sight. The power and wisdom of God can be seen in His works on every hand and should awaken gratitude and praise in our hearts. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 15

Monday, February 10, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It is a beautiful morning. It seems like a May morning in Michigan. The birds are singing and everything is awakening to life. We walked about one mile to the post office. Put in eight letters. We enjoyed the walk and were ready for our breakfast when we returned. We devoted ourselves to our writing until eleven o’clock. My husband then took pack; I took sitz bath. Lay down and rested half an hour, and commenced writing again. Enjoyed a light dinner. Brother Young took dinner with us. We then walked out for exercise, returned and resumed our writing. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 16

About five o’clock we went to depot for Elder Loughborough. He brought us letters from church at San Francisco, expressing their confidence in our labors, with names of most of the church signed. We received one letter from Brother Kellogg, and the Review. Brother William Young and Brother Dennison were visiting with us until late. My husband sat up till late at night to finish article for Reformer. I was very weary and needed sleep. The report of Elder Loughborough of things in the city of San Francisco is not very encouraging. I fear our labors have been in vain there. We trust the matter wholly with the Lord. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 17

Tuesday, February 11, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It was rather foggy when we first arose. It rained hard during the night. The fog soon cleared away and we are now having a beautiful, clear, mild day. We arose early, prepared eight pages of manuscript for the Review, which matter is to go into my Spirit of Prophecy, Volume Two. My husband sent his article for Reformer. Brother William Young called. Devoted the day to writing. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 18

Wednesday, February 12, 1873

[Bloomfield, California,]

We rode with Brother Ferguson to Bloomfield. The weather was raw and unpleasant. We had some rain. We tarried overnight with Brother Ferguson. My tooth began to ulcerate. It was very painful. We made hot applications and obtained but little relief. We then engaged earnestly in prayer to God, not only for relief from pain but for His special blessing that we could have His power to attend our efforts in behalf of the church in Bloomfield. We prayed until the perspiration came from every pore. With tears and confession and humiliation we made our supplication to God. We were blessed. The Lord graciously revealed Himself to me. His merciful arm seemed to be beneath me. It was a severe conflict of two hours long before victory came. I praised the name of the Lord for His revelation of Himself to me. We had made preparation for a night of prayer and suffering. We acted upon our faith—sent all to bed and we rested sweetly all night under the rich blessing of God. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 19

Thursday, February 13, 1873

[Bloomfield,]

It is a beautiful morning. Brother Ferguson has a beautiful residence. We stand in his doorway and view the surrounding mountains, hills, and valleys. The bright green verdure in contrast with the brown cultivated soil makes a beautiful picture. This is just such a location as we would desire to live in. Everything around us is as advanced as May in Michigan. Trees are in bloom. Pear trees and almonds are in full bloom, and cherry trees are budding. Nature is putting on her beautiful dress. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 20

Brother Ferguson took us about two miles to Brother Judson’s. We remain at Brother Judson’s through the meeting. My face is very much swollen, but I have no pain. The Lord has indeed answered our prayers. But today I am assailed with temptations and reflections the most saddening in regard to the future. My mind has been in great perplexity most of the time for two years. When will this end? I weep and pray alone and think I shall have freedom. Then as relief comes, my soul sinks in discouragement. I will look to God to help. He will not leave me. Oh, that I could lay off the armor and rest in the grave! I long for this rest. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 21

We walked out, climbing a long hill by Brother Judson’s house. At its top had a grand view of the whole surrounding country. We saw the redwoods about six miles away. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 22

Friday, February 14, 1873

[Bloomfield,]

Friday. We have another beautiful day, but my mind is exceedingly troubled. I will not place upon my diary the thoughts and distress of mind I endure. I long for rest of spirit. Will it ever come? Brethren Cassidy, Stipp, and Courtwright came from San Francisco, Brother Cassidy from Petaluma. I kept my room most of the day. There was a meeting in the evening, but I dared not venture out. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 23

Saturday, February 15, 1873

[Bloomfield,]

It is rainy today, but we ventured out to the meeting, about one mile and a half. I did not feel like speaking but Elder Loughborough told me there were those who would be disappointed if I did not speak. I thought I would try to speak, irrespective of my feelings. My heart was all broken to pieces. As I attempted to talk I could not control my feelings. I wept as I tried to speak upon the sufferings of Christ in our behalf. There was much feeling in the meeting. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 24

At noon I went to Brother Palmer’s to rest. They are in great affliction. Their son is dying with consumption. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 25

I returned to the afternoon meeting. Elder Loughborough made some remarks. My husband spoke some time upon the rise and progress of the work of this message. I then followed and felt the burden of testimony to the people. The Lord helped me by His Spirit. Hearts were reached. I sat down, but was not free. I again arose and with the burden upon me gave to several testimonies for them personally, reproving their wrongs. It was a deeply solemn time. The ones reproved arose and responded to the testimony. A spirit of confession came into the meeting and the blessing of freedom was the result. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 26

Between the afternoon and evening meetings we spent at Brother Palmer’s. Their son appeared to be sinking. My husband and myself prayed for the afflicted family and dying son. Brother Palmer seemed to be greatly blessed amid his affliction, which counteracted the anguish he felt to see his son dying. At this season of prayer Brother Palmer says he had a special manifestation of the Spirit and power of God. The angels of God seemed to be in the room and he was blessed in a most remarkable manner. We attended evening meeting and returned after the meeting of business to Brother Judson’s. We did not get to rest till after eleven o’clock. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 27

Sunday, February 16, 1873

[Bloomfield,]

We are still at Brother Judson’s. It is raining and then the sun shines and then again it rains. It is frowns and smiles. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 28

My husband spoke to a full house who seemed deeply interested. His subject was the coming of the Lord—“This generation shall not pass,” etc. [Matthew 24:34.] He made the subject very clear and I hope that souls will be benefited by the clear chain of truth presented. I followed with remarks upon the necessity of the preparation needed to meet the Lord with joy at His coming. In the afternoon there was a business meeting. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 29

I returned to Brother Judson’s to rest for evening meeting. Appointment was given out for me to speak to the people in the evening. The house was full. I spoke upon the words of Christ, “Take no thought ... what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink,” etc. [Matthew 6:25.] The Lord gave me a spirit of freedom and victory before the people. I magnified the heavenly attractions and exalted the grace of God above every earthly blessing. I sought to impress upon minds that the meek and quiet spirit was to be sought for more earnestly and to be more highly prized than any earthly advantage that outward adorning would bring. No effort made to adorn the body for display could bear comparison with one of the simple flowers for natural beauty. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 30

Monday, February 17, 1873

[Bloomfield, California,]

Our brethren leave today for their homes. Our conference has been a success. Everything has moved off smoothly and harmoniously. This conference will be attended with the best results. The cause will be placed upon a better basis than ever before. All are greatly encouraged at the result of this meeting. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 31

My husband and Sister Hall returned to Santa Rosa for mail, intending to return in a few days or meet me at Green Valley. I remained to write out matter that I have had for several. Wrote testimonies for different ones. After dinner we engaged in profitable conversation and continued to talk until bedtime with Brother and Sister Judson. I took bath and retired to rest at nine o’clock. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 32

Tuesday, February 18, 1873

I arose very early and wrote eleven pages of note paper before breakfast. I improved my time diligently till dinner hour. A message came for me from my husband that the Review contained appointment of conference at Battle Creek to be held the eleventh [of March]. My presence was required at Santa Rosa at once to make arrangements for said meeting. Brother Judson took me and Joseph Dennison and a young brother to Santa Rosa. With the exception of a little shower of hail we had a very pleasant journey. We talked over matters and decided it is best for my husband to attend the conference at Battle Creek and Sister Hall and myself remain here, I to devote my time to writing and in speaking to the people occasionally in the different churches. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 33

Wednesday, February 19, 1873

[Santa Rosa, California,]

It is a beautiful day. My husband has taken cold. We walked out in the sun about three miles. We consulted with Brother Judson in regard to conference at Battle Creek and in regard to my remaining to help the cause what I could in California. We parted with Brother Judson. We hardly knew what decisions to make. We felt like crying earnestly to God for help in our emergency, to show us clear light in regard to our duty. We feel confident we shall not be left to go astray. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 34

We visited Sister Dennison and her daughter. Poor girl! She married when but a mere child, needing her mother’s care. It was an unhappy event. She has a young child. Her health is poor and her husband was severe and arbitrary. This child was too young for a companion. He could not respect her as such. She was but a child. He ruled her like a tyrant. Already they are parted, she hating him most thoroughly and he without love for her. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 35

Thursday, February 20, 1873

[Santa Rosa,]

It is a beautiful day. We have had very cold nights. Frost lay heavy upon the ground. After engaging earnestly in prayer to be guided in duty, we rest the matter with the Lord. We went to the dentist and I had a difficult root extracted, which had cost me a great deal of pain. I had three cavities filled. All this was performed successfully and I returned greatly relieved, thankful to God that the difficult job had been accomplished. We decided in the afternoon to pack our trunks and go to San Francisco, and we could then have a little more time to decide our duty. If my husband goes East, is it the will of God that I should remain? We worked very earnestly in preparing for our leaving in the morning. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 36

Friday, February 21

Saturday, February 22, 1873

[San Francisco, Calif.,]

It is a beautiful day. I was sick. Have a severe headache and sickness of the stomach. I suffered much all day. My husband spoke twice after the meeting, closed Sabbath. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 37

Sisters Stipp and Billet came to see us. Sister Billet was in a wavering condition. Her minister, Mr. Scott, and many church members had visited her and had, we think, some influence over her to unsettle her mind in regard to the Sabbath. We talked with her and I related some things shown me in regard to her case, which strengthened her very much. We then had a very precious season of prayer and the blessing of the Lord rested upon us all. I entreated her never to leave the Sabbath, but to cling to the truth at all hazards. God would be her strength and her support. His everlasting arms would be beneath her, and He would be to her a very present help in every time of need. In trying to help Sister Billet I was much blessed myself. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 38

Sunday, February 23, 1873

[San Francisco,]

It is a beautiful morning. I am feeling very weak, but decided to go to the water to see the ordinance of baptism administered. One brother and two sisters are intending to go forward. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 39

We rode upon the street cars about three miles. The tent was pitched to make change of clothing. Sisters Billet and Chittenden and Brother Champion were buried with Christ in baptism. Everything moved off pleasantly. The candidates were blessed in following the example of our Lord. All said it was the best baptism they had ever witnessed. All returned highly satisfied with the occasion. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 40

Monday, February 24, 1873

[San Francisco,]

We visited at Brother Stipp’s. Took dinner with them. We received two letters from Elders Loughborough and Butler. I am considering in regard to my duty, whether we shall stay in California and labor or return to Michigan to the conference. There is much work to be done in Michigan. Many need help and I have an earnest desire to help those who will be helped. We prayed earnestly to God to know His will in regard to our going to Michigan. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 41

Tuesday, February 25, 1873

[San Francisco,]

I spent my time in writing, closing up testimonies that were partly finished. I am much perplexed to know my duty. I long to do the will of God. Am willing, yea, earnestly desirous to be in the very place God would have me in. My heart cries out after God for light in regard to duty. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 42

Wednesday, February 26, 1873

[San Francisco,]

It is cold and disagreeable. We took dinner at Brother Stipp’s. Brethren Loughborough and Judson were with us; came in on the boat. We had a very interesting interview with them. My mind still remains unsettled in regard to duty. I am pleading earnestly that I may make no move contrary to the will of Him who hath called me to be His servant. We had several seasons of prayer to be guided in judgment. Our tickets must be purchased today if we go East tomorrow. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 43

We had a meeting in the evening. I spoke some time upon the duties resting upon the church, showing them they had failed to receive the blessing they might have had if they had worked in unison with us. I laid off my burden upon the people and cleared my soul. Bade them farewell. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 44

Thursday, February 27, 1873

Left San Francisco at 7 a.m. We arose at five o’clock to get our breakfast, finish our packing, and get to the boat which took us to Oakland. The people were unwilling to let us leave them, but as there was no one to accompany my husband we felt that it must be right for us to go with him. We took seats in the cars at Oakland at eight o’clock a.m. We had a stateroom, retired if we chose to be from the passengers. I was sick in consequence of passengers being allowed to smoke on the cars. I could not eat; lay down much of the time. We passed much beautiful scenery. Passed Cape Horn, a most romantic and fearful spot, about dark. We felt to lift our hearts to God for His care and protection on the journey, especially in passing such dangerous places. 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 45

Friday, February 28, 1873

[En route to Battle Creek,]

It is a beautiful day. We all rested well during the night. I became very sick—headache, stomach sickness. Ate but little through the day. We had pleasant company on the train. My husband felt unusually well. Sister Hall was troubled with pain in her limbs. We saw snow, the first we had seen during the winter. We saw quite a number of natives. They looked squalid and poor enough. Mothers exhibited their naked babies for a bit. A sight! What a degrading act! 2LtMs, Ms 4, 1873, par. 46