Testimony for the Church — No. 17

Epistle Number Two

Bro. ——: Last June I was shown that there is a work before you, to correct your ways. You do not see yourself. Your life has been a mistake. You do not pursue a wise and merciful course in your family. You are exacting. If you continue to pursue the course toward your wife and children that you have been pursuing, her days will be shortened, and your children will fear, but not love you. You feel that your course is in Christian wisdom toward your wife and children, but in this you deceive yourself. T17 72.3

You have peculiar views in regard to managing your family. You exercise an independent, arbitrary power, which permits no liberty of will around you. You think yourself sufficient to be head in your family, and your head sufficient to move every member, as a machine is moved in the hands of the workman. You assume authority and dictation which displeases Heaven, and grieves the pitying angels. You have conducted yourself in your family as though you alone were capable of self-government. It has offended you that your wife should venture to oppose your opinion, or question your decisions. T17 73.1

After much longsuffering on her part, and patient waiting upon your whims, she has rebelled against unjust authority, and has become nervous and distracted, and shown contempt for your course. T17 73.2

You have made the most of those manifestations on her part, and charged her with wrong and sin, and being led by the spirit of the Devil. You were the one at fault. You, as it were, drove her almost to desperation, and then taunted her with it afterwards. T17 73.3

Her life has not been happy. How easy would it have been for you to have made her life cheerful and pleasant. T17 73.4

You have been rather indolent. You have not been ambitious to exercise the strength the Lord has given you. This is your capital. A judicious use of this strength, and persevering, industrious habits would have enabled you to obtain the comforts of life. You have erred, and thought it was pride which led your wife to desire to have things more comfortable around her. She has been stinted, and dealt closely with by you. She needs a more generous diet, a more plentiful supply of food upon her table; and in her house, things to make her work as easy as possible. She needs things as comfortable and convenient as you can make them. But you have viewed things from a wrong standpoint. You have thought that almost anything which could be eaten was good enough if you could live and retain strength. You plead the necessity of spare diet to your feeble wife. She cannot make good blood or flesh upon the diet to which you could confine yourself, and flourish. Some persons cannot subsist upon the same food, prepared in the same manner, upon which others can do well. T17 73.5

You are in danger of becoming an extremist. Your system could convert a very coarse, poor diet, into good blood. Your blood-making organs are in a good condition. Your wife requires a more select diet than yourself. Let her eat the same food which your system could convert into good blood, and her system could not appropriate it. She needs a generous, strengthening diet. She lacks vitality. She should have a good supply of fruit, and not be confined to the same things from day to day. She has a slender hold of life. She is diseased, and the wants of her system are far different from those of a healthy person. T17 74.1

Bro. ——, you are a man possessing considerable dignity, but have you earned the dignity you have assumed? Oh, no! You have loved your ease. You and hard work have not agreed. Had you not been slothful in business, you could now have had many of the comforts of life which you cannot now command. You have wronged your wife and your children by your indolent habits. Hours have been passed away by you in talking and reading, and taking your ease, which should have been occupied in earnest labor. T17 75.1

You are just as accountable for your capital of strength as the wealthy man is for his riches. Both of you are stewards. To both of you is committed a work. You are to use your strength, not to abuse it, but to acquire, that you may liberally (not stintedly) supply the wants of your family, and have wherewith to render to God by aiding in the cause of present truth. T17 75.2

You have been aware of the existence of pride, and show, and vanity, in ——, and have felt determined that your example should not countenance this pride and extravagance. In your effort to do this, your sin has been as great on the other T17 75.3

You have been greatly at fault in your religious experience. You have, stood one side as a looker on, as a spectator watching the deficiencies of others, noticing others’ faults, and building yourself up because you see wrongs in them. T17 75.4

You have been careful and upright in deal, and as you have seen slackness in this respect in others who make high professions, you have contrasted their wrong with your principles in reference to deal, and have said in your heart, I am better than they, while at the same time you were standing off from the church, watching and finding fault, yet doing nothing in coming up to the help of the Lord, to remedy the evil. T17 75.5

You had a standard by which you measured others. If they failed to meet your idea, your sympathy was not with them and you had a self-complacent feeling in regard to your case. T17 76.1

You been exacting in your religious experience. Should God deal with you as you would have dealt with those you supposed in error in the church, and as you have dealt with your own family, your condition would be bad indeed. But a merciful God, who is of tender pity, whose loving-kindness changeth not, has been forgiving, and has not cast you aside, nor cut you off, for your transgressions, your numerous errors and backslidings. Oh, no! he has loved you still. T17 76.2

Have you really considered that “with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again? You have seen pride and vanity, and a world-loving spirit in some who profess to be Christians in ——. This is a great evil, and as this spirit is indulged, angels are grieved because the example of the unconsecrated is followed. They are exerting an influence to scatter from Christ, and are gathering in their garments the blood of souls. If they pursue the same course they have done, they will lose their own souls, and will know one day what it is to feel the terrible weight of other souls who have been led astray by their lives of unconsecration, while professing to be governed by religious principles. T17 76.3

You have just reason to be grieved with the pride and lack of simplicity in those who profess better things. You have watched others, and talked of their errors and wrongs, and neglected your own soul. You are not accountable for any of the sins of your brethren, unless your example has caused them to stumble, and their feet to be diverted from the narrow path. T17 76.4

You have a great and solemn work before you to control yourself, to subdue yourself, to become meek and lowly of heart, to educate yourself to be tender-hearted, pitiful in your family, to possess nobleness of spirit and true generosity of soul, which despises everything niggardly. T17 77.1

You have thought there was too much work and cost to the meeting-house. You have remarked upon the unnecessary expense. It is all needless in you to have these special conscientious scruples. There is nothing in that house which is prepared with too much care, neatness, or order. The work is none too nice. The arrangement is not extravagant. T17 77.2

Do those who are ready to complain of this house of worship consider for whom it was built? that it was made especially to be the house of God; to be dedicated to him; to be a place where the people assemble to meet God? Many act as though the Creator of the heavens and the earth, he who has made everything that is lovely and beautiful in our world, would be pleased to see a house erected for him put together without order or beauty. Some build large, convenient houses for themselves, and cannot afford to spend much upon a house which they are to dedicate to God. The means in their hands, every dollar of it, is the Lord's. He has lent it to them for a little while, to use to his glory; yet they hand out this means for the advancement of the cause of God as though every dollar thus expended were a total loss. T17 77.3

God would not have his people expend means extravagantly for show or ornament, in the house prepared for him; but he would have them observe neatness, order, taste, and plain beauty in preparing a house for him, where he will meet with his people. Those who build a house for God should manifest as much higher interest, greater care, and nicer taste, in the arrangement, as the object or purpose for which it is prepared, is higher and more holy than common dwelling-houses. T17 78.1

God reads the hearts and purposes of men. Those who have exalted views of the character of God, will feel it their highest pleasure to have everything which has any connection with God, of the very best work, and displaying the very best taste. But those who can build grudgingly a poorer house to dedicate to God than they would accept to live in themselves, show their lack of reverence for God and for sacred things. Their work shows that their own temporal concerns are higher in their eyes and of more value than matters of a spiritual nature. T17 78.2

Eternal things are made secondary. The choice of good and convenient things is not considered essential for the use of the people of God in his service, but highly essential in the concerns of this life. Men will reveal the true state of the moral tone of the principles of their hearts. The views of many of our people have become narrowed up. Order, neatness, taste, and convenience, are termed pride and love of the world. A mistake is made here. Vain pride, which is exhibited in gaudy trappings and needless ornaments, is not pleasing to God. But he who created for man a beautiful world, and planted a lovely garden in Eden with every variety of trees for fruit and beauty, who decorated the earth with most lovely flowers of every description and hue, has given tangible proofs that he is pleased with the beautiful. Yet he will accept the most humble offering from the poorest, weakest child, who has no better to present. It is the sincerity of the soul that God accepts. The man who has God enshrined in his heart, as exalted above all, will be led to a thorough submission of his will to God, to make an entire surrender of himself to his rule and reign. T17 78.3

Short-sighted mortals do not comprehend the ways and works of God. Their eyes are not directed upward to him as they should be. They do not have exalted views of eternal things. They only look at these things with a clouded vision. They take no special delight in contemplating the love of God, the glory and splendor of Heaven, the exalted character of the holy angels, the majesty and inexpressible loveliness of Jesus, our Redeemer. They have so long kept earthly things before their vision that eternal scenes are all vague and indistinct to them. They have limited views of God, Heaven, and eternity. T17 79.1

Sacred things are brought down upon a level with common; therefore in their dealing with God they manifest the same close, penurious spirit as in dealing with their fellow men. Their offerings to God are lame, sick, or deficient. They carry on robbery with God, such as they have with their fellow men. Their minds do not reach up to an exalted, high, moral standard, but remain on a low level; and they are constantly breathing the impure miasma of the low lands of earth. T17 79.2

Bro. ——, you rule with a rod of iron in your family. You are severe in the government of your children. You will not gain their love by this course of management. To your wife you are not tender, loving, affectionate, and courteous; but harsh, bearing down upon her, and blaming and censuring her. T17 80.1

A well-regulated, orderly family is a pleasing sight to God and ministering angels. You have lessons to learn, to make a home—a pleasant, orderly, comfortable, home. Then adorn that home with a becoming dignity, and the spirit will be received by the children; and order, regularity, and obedience, will be more readily secured by both of you. T17 80.2

Bro. ——, have you considered what a child is? and whither it is going? Your children are the Lord's, and these children are the younger members of the Lord's family—brothers and sisters, intrusted to your care by your Heavenly Father for you to train, to educate for Heaven. When you are handling them so roughly as you have frequently done, do you consider that God will call you to account for this dealing? You should not use your children thus roughly. A child is not a horse nor a dog to be ordered about according to your imperious will, or to be controlled by a stick or whip or by blows with the hand, under all circumstances. Some children are so vicious in their tempers that the infliction of pain is necessary; but very many cases are made much worse by this manner of discipline. T17 80.3

You should control yourself. Never correct your children while under the influence of passion—while impatient or fretful. Punish them in love, manifesting the unwillingness you feel to cause your children pain. Never raise your hand to give them a blow unless you can with a clear conscience bow before God, and ask his blessing upon the correction you are about to give. T17 81.1

Encourage love in the hearts of your children. Present before them high and correct motives for self-restraint. Do not give them the impression that they must submit to control because it is your arbitrary will; because they are weak, and you are strong; because you are the father, they the children. T17 81.2

If you wish to ruin your family, pursue the course you have done—govern by brute force—and you will surely succeed. T17 81.3

Your wife is easily agitated, is tender-hearted. She feels your harshness of discipline, and it leads her to the opposite extreme. She seeks to counteract your severity, and you charge this as a great lack in her of doing her duty, and controlling her children. You think her indulgent, over fond, and tender. You cannot help her in this respect until you correct yourself, and manifest that parental tenderness you should in your family. T17 81.4

It is your wrong management which leads your wife to be lax in her discipline. You must have your nature softened. You need to be refined by the influences of the Spirit of God. You need a thorough conversion; then you can work from the right standpoint. You need to let love into your soul, and permit it to occupy the place of self-dignity. Self in you must die. T17 81.5

Your wife needs tenderness and love. The Lord loves her. She is much nearer the kingdom of Heaven than yourself. But she is dying by inches, and you are the one who is slowly taking her life. You can make her life happy if you will. You can encourage her to lean upon your large affections, to confide in you and love you. You are weaning her heart from you. She shrinks from opening all the emotions of her soul to you; for you have treated her feelings with contempt; have ridiculed her fears; and pompously advanced your opinion as though there was no appeal from that. Her respect for you will surely die if you continue the course you have commenced; and when respect has gone, love does not abide long. T17 82.1

I implore you to turn right about, and humble yourself to confess that you have wronged your wife. Your wife is not perfect. She has faults; but she is sincerely desiring to serve God, and patiently as she can, endure your course toward her and your children. You are quick to detect your wife's errors, and when you can pick a flaw, you will. She is weak; yet with her weaker strength, she glorifies God better than you do with your greater and stronger powers. T17 82.2

E. G. W.

Battle Creek, Jan. 17, 1869. T17 82.3

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