The Signs of the Times, vol. 13

“The Fifth Commandment. No. 3” The Signs of the Times 13, 41, pp. 647, 648.

“CHILDREN, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right.” Ephesians 6:1. The Scripture here announces the principle that must actuate all true obedience: the principle that leads to doing right, not from interested motives, but because it is right. One of the profoundest of moral writers has said that, “To obey a parent, or to obey God, from interested motives, would be sin.” This is pre-eminently true. But the child must learn to obey his parents before he can learn to obey God; and if he learns to obey his parents from interested motives, that principle will become so imbedded in his nature that even though when a man he should be brought to professed obedience to God, he will always be at a disadvantage in his best efforts, until, by a thorough discipline of himself, he shall have uprooted every vestige of the evil principle learned in his infancy and youth. Therefore, in bringing up their children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” it is incumbent upon parents diligently to impress upon the minds of the children the principle of obedience which God has given—“Obey ... because it is right.” SITI October 27, 1887, page 647.1

But to be obeyed, the parent must assert authority, and have that authority respected. Both Peter and Jude speak particularly of a class of evil-doers who despise government, and Peter says that of the unjust whom the Lord will reserve unto the day of Judgment to be punished, these are the chief. He says they are presumptuous and self-willed. But no person who is made to learn obedience and to respect authority when he is a child, will despise government when he grows up. There, however, is the great difficulty nowadays. Children are allowed to despise government in their own homes, then they despise it at school, then they despise it in the State, and they despise it before God; they become presumptuous, self-willed, and hardly anything short of the Judgment itself will convince them that there is a government and a law that will be respected. SITI October 27, 1887, page 647.2

It is the truth that genuine scriptural government in the home is now the exception. Indeed, it is so exceptional as to be almost the occasion of special remark wherever found. In the vast majority of families children are either not taught to obey, or else are taught to obey from interested motives; and in either case their actions are sin. Obedience is not natural in any child. Every child has to be taught to obey; and it requires diligence to teach him, too. Take a child who is just learning obedience; tell him, for instance, not to touch a certain thing, and that is the very thing he will touch if there is any possible show. And just here is where this principle of disobedience and of disrespect for authority is confirmed in many a child. The mother tells the child, in many instances, not to do certain things which in themselves are of very little importance, and which, except for the principle of obedience involved, it is a matter of perfect indifference whether the child does or not. Being, then, but matters of indifference, the child is told not to do so; he does so, and then because it is so slight a matter it is let pass, and he is allowed to disobey, which is not a slight matter. For as surely as your child is allowed to disobey in any point, he by that learns these three things: (1) He learns to disobey; (2) he learns that your command may be slighted with impunity, and (3) in that he learns to despise your authority. And again we say, That is not by any means a slight matter, although it may be the outcome of a matter in itself wholly indifferent. SITI October 27, 1887, page 647.3

But someone may ask, “Would you insist thus strictly upon matters in themselves wholly indifferent?” No, that would be tyranny. What then shall be done? This: Let matters that are indifferent remain so. If it makes no difference whether the child does a certain thing or not, say nothing at all about it. Insist not at all, make no test at all, upon any matter in itself indifferent. Before you give a command be sure that the matter is of sufficient importance to involve the principle, and then be sure to insist upon the principle. Be sure of these points and then you may be sure that your child will not learn to disobey you, nor to slight your command, nor to despise your authority. SITI October 27, 1887, page 647.4

It is true that to do this will require more thought and careful watching than nine-tenths of parents are accustomed to give to this subject; but what subject can more worthily engage the thoughtful attention of parents? A dutiful, obedient, respectful child is an honor to his parents, and an ornament to society. And if children are not to learn these things at home, where shall they learn them? At school? No. Because if they are not taught them at home, and the attempt is made to teach them at school, all that is done in this direction at school will be undone, and in many cases worse than undone, at home. For if the child despises authority and government at home, he will despise them at school. And if the attempt is made to compel him to respect them, perchance by a proper and very much needed use of the whip, then the parents are at once up in arms against the teacher, and in defense of the child and only to confirm him in his rebellion. “Oh,” they say, “our children are not whipped at home, and they shall not be at school.” True, they are not whipped at home, but, unless they come a good deal nearer to being natural-born saints than children generally do in this world, they ought to be. The Bible says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15. And “the rod of correction” is the only remedy that the Bible gives for this universal defect. SITI October 27, 1887, page 648.1

J.