Letters and Manuscripts — Volume 19 (1904)

Ms 146, 1904

Diary Fragment, October 9, 1904

“Elmshaven,” St. Helena, California

October 9, 1904

Portions of this manuscript are published in 3SM 91.

October 9, 1904

St. Helena Sanitarium, Calif.

I am at last in my own room in our home. Marian is no better. She is at the sanitarium receiving every attention possible. We are so glad to be at home where we can better take in the situation. We are so glad that Marian’s own sister, Mrs. Kellogg, and daughter, could be with her two weeks while we were held to attend meetings. After visiting Marian and listening to her conversation [they felt (?)] that it was time that we should be at home. We had the privilege of praying with the suffering one and knowing that the Great Physician was present, that He alone could raise Marian to health; but it would be like raising one from the dead. Those who have charge said she had best not have many visitors because she was exercising herself in talking too much. Everything had been done for her that human skill could do to preserve her life. She continued to live two weeks. 19LtMs, Ms 146, 1904, par. 1

We had our tickets to take us to Los Angeles. We were to leave Monday but decided to defer the journey one day. She seemed apparently not improving decidedly. Tuesday we would leave, when a telephone message said Marian was unconscious. Thus she remained until four o’clock p.m. and quietly breathed her life away without pain or suffering. After the funeral was over, we felt at liberty to leave. 19LtMs, Ms 146, 1904, par. 2

Marian had been with me about twenty-five years. She was my chief worker in arranging the matter for my books. She ever appreciated the writings as sacred matter placed in her hands and would often relate to me what comfort and blessing she received in performing this work, that it was her health and her life to do this work. She ever handled the matters placed in her hands as sacred. I shall miss her so much. In the matter of losing Marian, I could but think that soon my pen would be laid aside and our work, ever connected, would rest. God help me to lay down my pen quietly, happily. When you read the book The Ministry of Healing, consider this was her last work. I shall miss her so much. Who will fill her place? 19LtMs, Ms 146, 1904, par. 3

We left Thursday morning. We started on our way for Fresno in the early morning. I was glad to be alone with my thoughts. For days I would think what a precious helper I had lost, but my life was spared. When the Lord sees fit to call me, I want to be ready to meet my last change in peace. 19LtMs, Ms 146, 1904, par. 4

Since leaving Washington, D.C., I have been in all the labor I could bear. Twice spoke in Philadelphia. The Lord has greatly blessed me in speaking. 19LtMs, Ms 146, 1904, par. 5