يتوق الى السلام مع الله
هذا وان رغبته الحارة في التحرر من الخطيئة والحصول على السلام مع الله قادته اخيرا الى دخول احد الاديرة وتكريس نفسه لحياة الرهبنة . وفي ذلك الدير طُلب منه ممارسة أحط الوان الكدح المذل فيذهب من بيت الى بيت مستجديا أهل الاحسان . وكان اذ ذاك في سن تجعل الانسان يتوق الى الظفر باحترام الناس وتقديرهم . لكنّ هذه الممارسات الحقيرة كان فيها قدر كبير من الاماتة لمشاعره الطبيعية . وتحمل هذا الاذلال بصبر اذ كان يعتقد أنه ضروري له بسبب خطاياه.
GC 137.1
كان ينفق في الدرس كل لحظة تتاح له بعد اداء واجباته اليومية، حار ما نفسه النوم بل مستكثرا عليها الدقائق التي كان يقضيها في تناول طعامه البسيط. وكان يفرح بدرس كلمة الله أكثر من فرحه بأي شيء آخر . فقد وجد كتابا مقدسا مربوطا بالسلاسل الى جدران الدير فكان يذهب الى هناك كثير ا. واذ تعمق في نفسه التبكيت على الخطيئة إجتهد في الح صول على الغفران والسلام عن طريق أعماله الذاتية . وعاش عيشة غاية في الصرامة، محاولا بواسطة الصوم والصلوات التي كان يتلوها في الليل والجلد الذي كان يفرضه على نفسه أن يقهر شر طبيعته الذي لم تستطع حياة النسك ان تحرره منه . ولم يتراجع أمام أي تضحية يبلغ بواسطتها الى طهارة القلب التي قد توقفه مبَّررا أمام الله . وقال فيما بعد: ”لقد كنت في الحق راهبا تقيا وأتبعت قوانين رهبانيتي بدقة اعجز عن التعبير عنه ا. ولو أُعطي لراهب أن يرث السماء بأعمال النسك التي يمارسها لكان لي الحق في امتلاكها ... ولو استمرت على ذلك مدة أطول لأودى بي قمع الجسد واذلال النفس الى الموت“ (٤٨). وكان من نتائج هذا النظام المؤلم أن خارت قواه وقاسى كثيرا من جراء تشنجات اغمائية لم يشفَ منها شفاء كاملا . ولكن مع كل تلك الجهود لم تجد نفسه المثقلة راحة. وأخيرا انساق الى حفاة اليأس.
GC 137.2
عندما بدا للوثر أن كل أمله قد ضاع دبر له الله صديقا ومعين ا. ذلك أن ستوبتز التقي فتح ذهن لوثر أمام كلمة الله وأمره بأن يحول نظره بعيدا من نفسه ويترك التفكير في القصاص الابدي لأجل انتهاك شريعة الله وينظر الى يسوع المخلص غافر الخطاي ا. ثم قال له: ”بدلا من تعذيبك نفسك لأجل خطاياك ألق بنفسك بين ذراعي الفادي . ثق به، في بر حياته وكفارته وموته ... اصغ الى ابن الله. لقد صار انسانا ليمنحك يقين الرضى الالهي“. ”أحب ذاك الذي أحبك قبلا“ (٤٩). هكذا تكلم رسول الرحمة ذاك فأثر كلامه في عقل لوثر تأ ثيرا عميق ا. فبعد مصارعات كثيرة وطويلة مع أخطائه التي احتضنها طويلا استطاع فهم الحق، فحل السلام في نفسه المضطربة.
GC 138.1
11266
GC
الصراع العظيم
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