Love Under Fire

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Jerome Finds Repentance and New Courage

Soon he was brought before the council again. His submission had not satisfied the judges. Only by complete surrender of truth could Jerome preserve his life. But he had decided to proclaim his faith and follow his brother martyr to the flames. LF 50.1

He renounced his earlier recanting and, as a dying man, solemnly claimed the right to make his defense. The church officials insisted that he simply affirm or deny the charges brought against him. Jerome protested against such cruel injustice. “You have held me shut up three hundred and forty days in a frightful prison,” he said. “You then bring me out before you, and listening to my mortal enemies, you refuse to hear me.... Be careful not to sin against justice. As for me, I am only a feeble mortal; my life is of little importance; and when I urge you not to deliver an unjust sentence, I speak less for myself than for you.”15 LF 50.2

His request was finally granted. In the presence of his judges, Jerome knelt down and prayed that the divine Spirit would control his thoughts so that he would say nothing contrary to truth or unworthy of his Master. That day the promise was fulfilled to him, “When they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you shall speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you” (Matthew 10:19, 20). LF 50.3

For a whole year Jerome had been in a dungeon, unable to read or even see. Yet he presented his arguments with as much clearness and power as if he had had undisturbed opportunity for study. He pointed his hearers to the long line of holy men condemned by unjust judges. In almost every generation those seeking to elevate the people of their time had been cast out. Christ Himself was condemned as a felon at an unrighteous trial. LF 50.4

Jerome now stated his repentance and testified to the innocence and holiness of the martyr Huss. “I knew him from his childhood,” he said. “He was a most excellent man, just and holy; he was condemned, even though he was innocent.... I am ready to die. I will not turn away in the face of the torments that my enemies and false witnesses have prepared for me. One day they will have to give an account for their deceptions before the great God, whom nothing can deceive.” LF 50.5

Jerome continued: “Of all the sins that I have committed since my youth, none weigh so heavily on my mind and cause me such keen remorse as the one I committed in this fatal place, when I approved of the evil sentence rendered against Wycliffe, and against the holy martyr, John Huss, my teacher and my friend. Yes! I confess it from my heart and declare with horror that I disgracefully gave in to fear when, through a dread of death, I condemned their doctrines. I therefore beg ... Almighty God to stoop to pardon me my sins, and this one in particular, the most terrible of all.” LF 50.6

Pointing to his judges, he said firmly, “You condemned Wycliffe and John Huss.... The things that they affirmed, and which are irrefutable, I also think and declare, like them.” LF 51.1

His words were interrupted. The church officials, trembling with rage, cried out: “What need is there of further proof? We see with our own eyes the most stubborn of heretics!” LF 51.2

Unmoved by this storm, Jerome exclaimed: “What! do you suppose that I am afraid to die? You have held me for a whole year in a frightful dungeon, more horrible than death itself.... I cannot help expressing my astonishment at such inhuman treatment toward a Christian.”16 LF 51.3