The Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, vol. 66
May 14, 1889
“The First Commandment with Promise 1” The Advent Review and Sabbath Herald 66, 20, pp. 305, 306.
BY ELD. A. T. JONES
(Battle Creek, Mich)
TEXT: “Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.1
This, the first duty presented in the second table of the law, is not only the first duty of the second great commandment, but it is literally the very first duty that can possibly come to any creature born into the world. This commandment, then, is of very great importance, and is here most clearly defined, because of the reason that the child must be taught to honor its parents before it is old enough to be taught, or to learn anything whatever about God; hence, the duty to honor parents is really the very first duty that comes to every creature at its entrance into life. Further than this, as it is man’s duty to love God with all the heart, and with all the soul and to honor him above all else, it devolves upon the parents (who stand in the place of God toward a child) so to train up and teach their child until he reaches mature years. A great responsibility, then, rests upon parents, that they should so act toward a child, and so walk before it, as ever to be an example and guide, leading it upward to God. If so instructed and guided while young, the child will continue, as it advances in years, to follow the precepts early inculcated, and to honor God. If not so guided and controlled, the reverse is almost sure to follow. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.2
Who, then, is responsible for the future, the parent or the child? The Scripture says: “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This is positive proof that a parent will have God’s sanction upon intelligent efforts to train a child properly. “Honor thy father and thy mother” is laying an injunction not only upon the child but the parent also. As the child must be taught, it will depend upon the character of the teaching as to whether it will or will not honor its parents. In Proverbs 29:15, the last clause shows that a neglected child brings disgrace upon its mother. A parent, then, who leaves a child to grow up self-taught, is inexcusable. Habits become confirmed by age, and a child left to itself brings its mother to shame. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.3
A parent should be persistent in instructing, never on any account slackening effort, ever so slightly, in the training and education of children. Paul says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And ye, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4. How, then, it may be asked, would the Lord desire parents to train their children? Has God given explicit directions for parents to follow? Let us read what he has said, for truly we have no other authority. By reading Deuteronomy 4:6-10, the last verse more particularly, it is found that the caution is given not only to remember all that has been heard and seen, but especially to teach the ten commandments to the children. In Deuteronomy 6:4-7 is presented the first great commandment with promise, and that the same is to be taught diligently to children. Notice carefully the marginal reading (“whet or sharpen”). The figure used is that of a very dull-edged tool, an ax for instance. The injunction is to whet and sharpen the mind of the child diligently, by constant teaching of the commandments of God. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.4
The human mind is frequently and naturally very dull, and a child’s mind, if left to itself, is sure to be sluggish and stupid. It is lamentable that parents, as a rule, leave to others—disinterested parties—the training and educating of their children,—to the teachers of the day and Sabbath-schools, who have supervision over them for a brief period, an hour or so, at a time. And yet parents express astonishment, sometimes that their child is so slow to learn. How many of these same parents can remember the numerous sermons they have listened to, upon the commandments of God, or can even repeat the commandments verbatim? Very few, and yet, with all the opportunities enjoyed, if they prove dull of hearing and understanding, should they cast blame upon their neglected child, whose mind has been left perhaps, entirely untrained or uncared for? Parents, what better or more noble employment can you possibly be engaged in than fitting your child to honor God and to be an honor to you? Never be discouraged, then, but continue daily, hourly, to sharpen that mind; and eventually you will find the lessons instilled coming to the child’s lips—repetitions of precious words, truths, and promises, learned from you. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.5
Let not the teaching be confined to formal lessons or seasons of instruction. The efforts put forth should be patient, diligent, continuous, varying with the circumstances and surroundings. In Sabbath-schools, too, while the lessons must necessarily be made plain and intelligible, yet underlying the instruction, in order to be successful, comes the faculty of studying the children themselves, and adapting the lesson to their various temperaments. So with the work of the parents. Children cannot all be treated alike. Each character should be carefully studied, and the instruction varied to suit each little mind. A pious divine once said that, when a young man, he had frequently to split many a knotty, gnarled log, and he learned to begin at the biggest knot and follow it in to the heart. Brethren, so act with your children. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.6
“Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart, and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt write them upon the door-posts of thine house, and upon thy gates, that your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the Lord sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth.” Deuteronomy 11:18-21. Brethren and sisters, what think you would be the condition of the people to-day, and the condition of the earth, if all honored God and their parents in this way. In this connection, examine Genesis 18:17-19. There God declares that he knows Abraham, and that he is a man that will command his children, and so he trusts him, and takes him to be the foundation for the promise; but if his children had not been controlled, and so had not kept the way of the Lord, the promise could not have been fulfilled through Abraham. Yet back of that, is this thought: if Abraham had not been a man who would command his children, he would never have been called. Now read in 1 Samuel 2:12-17, the case of Eli, the high priest, who allowed his sons to take such a vicious course that the people coming to worship, turned away in abhorrence form the service of the Lord. Had Eli ever taught them to hearken to his voice?—No, he simply talked to them. “Why do ye such things, for I hear of your evil-dealings by all this people.” (See verse 22-25). It was different with Abraham. He commanded his children; and they knew that when their father spoke, he meant what he said, and that they must obey him. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.7
Whenever parents take the course that Eli did, it teaches children to be disobedient. Do not trifle with a child. When you give a command, insist upon its being obeyed; otherwise you teach the child to despise your authority. It is human nature to go as near to disobedience as possible and evade punishment. Let the parent, therefore, ever be careful in commanding children, that nothing be required of them which, if neglected, will not merit punishment. The wise man says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” “Chasten thy son while there is yet hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Proverbs 22:15; 19:18. If a parent partially punishes a child, it soon learns to make use of pathetic appeals for mercy, to stay the correcting hand. In this way the value of the punishment is lost. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 305.8
From such a stand-point, then, there can be no study presented to a parent that is more worthy of close attention than the methods of training children properly, because it is a portion of the study of the law of God. It is said also, “He that spareth his rod hateth [loves less] his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Proverbs 23:13. I do not mean that punishment should be the sole rule of the house. It is really the last remedy. No one takes medicine until compelled to do so, particularly strong medicine—the latter only in critical cases. If Eli had taken the right course,—and he was not too old when his children were young,—and he was not too old when his children were young,—he could have trained them, and brought them up to fear the Lord. See, now, what were the consequences of his neglect of duty. Read 1 Samuel 3:11-13. Why was such a terrible judgment pronounced upon his house?—Because he was aware of the crimes committed by his children, yet made no attempt to correct or to control them. In doing so, Eli honored his children more than he did God. If a parent is so tender of a child that it is never corrected, but allowed to have its own way, after it is grown, it is almost certain to be guilty of disgraceful and disreputable acts. God had promised that Eli’s house should walk before him forever. It was much such a promise as that given to Abraham, yet it was withdrawn; it could not be fulfilled, because he failed to train his children as Abraham did. Be careful, then, when a command is given, to see that it is obeyed. Whenever such a rule is established, it will do away with fully one-half the strife in a household. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 306.1
Paul says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Ephesians 6:1. A child is often taught to value more highly the opinion of the world than the teachings of God’s word, and parents often teach a child to do a thing because of the construction the world will put upon it, rather than to do an act because it is right to do it. when a child is taught to live out what he knows to be right, because it is right, he is already far along in that training which God commends, and which makes of him a commandment-keeper. Insist upon a child’s obeying because it is right and pleasing to God (not man) that he should do so. When such a course is taken, and the child comes to maturity, his life will be governed by the principle received in his early youth, and he will be certain to acdt from convictions of right. How early, then, should a parent begin instruction? is an important question. A physician was once asked the same question, and immediately inquired the age of the child. On being told that it was a year old, he replied, “You have lost just one year.” It might well be said, however, that two years had been lost, because pre-natal influences often cause the bringing of a child into the world handicapped with a multitude of influences that tend to drag it downward. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 306.2
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21. Let not the correction be given in such a way as to provoke, torment, or make the child angry, because it might result in discouraging him. Use no extravagant language, such as “I’ll eat your ears off!” “I’ll put you in a dark cellar where a black man will catch you!” Such things are shameful, and should never be indulged in. a traveler upon a hot, dusty road in a broiling sun once came upon some children playing by the side of a cool cave. “Children,” he said, “why do you not go into the cave to play, where it is cool and shady!” “Oh,” replied a little one, “mamma says there are bears in there, that will eat us up.” “Why, my child,” said the traveler, “there are no bears there, nor any animal that will hurt you.” In astonishment, the little one looked up in his face, and in a puzzled, startled way said, “Why, then mamma lied!” The harm done by the falsehood uttered by that careless mother will never be know until the day of judgment! Let your aim be to have your children realize that you always speak the truth. Never forfeit their confidence. If stories are told, let them be such as will raise the child’s thoughts to God, and help it to understand that God is a good and merciful Father. May it ever be our study, how to bring up our children in the fear, the nurture, and the admonition of the Lord. ARSH May 14, 1889, page 306.3